Dreaming Isn't Enough
by GrumpyDino
Summary: Modern au. Eren's been having some weird dreams, and it features a short dude with black hair. Eren's wondering what the fuck is actually going on. (Has a bit of ErenxJean in it, kinda) (Sorry if stuff takes a while sometimes - I have exams starting in April and May, eh - -)
1. Chapter 1

Eren was engulfed by darkness. A low, loud humming was in his ears, and he shot his arm out blindly to feel for something he could recognise, but came back empty handed. It didn't matter if his eyes were closed or not, because no matter how much he willed it, he couldn't see a thing. He felt uncertainty slowly creep in, and he patted his chest. He felt some kind of fabric, possibly cotton, and he shook his head. That didn't help him at all; he was still in the dark, quite literally. Suddenly, there was an ear-shattering boom and the ground shook. Eren stumbled forward. A cracking sound made Eren's head snap down to look at the small crack in the floor. Bright light shone through the tiny crack, and as Eren shifted his weight his right foot, and the crack grew. Little fingers of light shone up through the floor and Eren squinted as his eyes tried to adjust and look around.

The light that came through the cracks didn't help Eren at all; in fact, it confused him even more. He didn't know where he was, and there were no objects around, only thin air and ominous pitch black surrounding him. He carefully got onto his knees and put his hand near the larger crack. There was a slight draft. Eren licked his lips. There was a way out. He smiled. The smile was gone in a flash as the ground crumbled away from beneath him and he began to fall. He had screwed his eyes shut and let out a shout. He flailed around in the air, and kept falling, tumbling, and twisting in the air, as his hair whipped around his face and the fall left him breathless. He wrenched open his eyes and looked around. He was falling past flying islands decorated with grass, broken fences, brightly coloured flowers, and all sorts of debris like abandoned books, split sheds, and tangled wires. He flipped around in the air, and he reached out towards one of the islands, but his finger got cut by some stray metal. He hissed and yanked back his hand.

He glanced down. There didn't seem to be any end in sight. It seemed like he was falling forever. He cast his eyes up, to see a dot of black far above him, and bright blue skies. Wispy white clouds hung in the air like soft cotton candy at a fair. Eren looked around in awe, and he frowned.

That was when he noticed something. There was a man, sat on an island with his ankles crossed, and his head tilted up to watch Eren. As Eren fell closer, the man became clearer. He had inky black hair, and a slim figure. He seemed quite small, and he didn't quite fit in with all the green grass, because of his stark black jeans and blood red jacket. He rested with his hands behind him, and something in his eyes gave a hint of tranquillity.

"What the fuck?" Eren shouted and flailed wildly.

The man tilted his head and he lifted his foot onto the edge of the island, as if to get up. Eren gave out a little squeal as he felt his stomach churn. If Eren squinted, he swore he caught a smirk pass the man's lips.

"Help me!" Eren yelled at the man, who he was fast approaching.

"Why should I?" The man stood up and folded his arms.

"Please!" Eren put a hand to his mouth. "I'm going to throw up if I can't stop spinning."

"If you'll stop that godawful screeching." The man stepped back. "Just will yourself to slow down. I'll try to catch you or something, I guess."

" _Will myself to slow down_? Are you crazy?" Eren exclaimed.

"Just do it, you ungrateful brat!"

Eren grimaced and tried to concentrate. He screwed his eyes shut and clenched his fists tightly. _'Slow down, please slow down, fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm going to be sick. Please slow down.'_ He pleaded in his head. He soon heard a grunt and came to a stop as something warm wrapped itself around him. He had hunched over into a ball and didn't move a muscle until he heard a huff.

"You're not dead." A smooth voice was in Eren's ear, and sent a cold shiver down his spine.

Eren slowly opened his eyes to see sharp silver eyes staring at him. He jumped and the man instantly let go. Eren blushed and coughed as he straightened himself out. He ducked his head sheepishly as the man brushed himself off and slowly raised an eyebrow at Eren.

"Uh, I, uh. Thanks." Eren nodded awkwardly.

"Yeah." The man nodded and folded his arms across his chest.

"So, um. Where the fuck are we? And who, uh, who are you?" Eren stuffed his hands in his pockets as he cast another glance around.

"You tell me." The man shrugged.

Eren paused. "How am I meant to know? I literally fell from the sky just now."

"I know. I was the one who caught your ass, by the way." The man raised an eyebrow at Eren.

"Yeah, I, thanks for that, but you were here already, so…" Eren sighed. "This can't be real, can it?"

"Is it?"

"I don't know!" Eren huffed.

"Geez, you've already got your panties in a twist?"

"No!" Eren's eyebrows flew up and his eyes widened. "I don't- I don't wear those."

"You don't sound too certain about that, hm?" The man gave Eren a teasing smirk.

"No! Yes! What?" Eren slouched and looked at the guy in confusion. "I- Who are you?"

"Huh." The man gave Eren a once-over and extended a hand, after getting a quick look at Eren's. "You first."

"Eren." He took the man's hand and shook it. "You?"

The man smirked and retracted his hand. He tapped his nose. Eren frowned. That wasn't fair. The man adjusted his blood red jacket and unzipped it, revealing a simple grey t-shirt. He sighed and watched Eren carefully. Eren was actually a bit taller than the man, and he was lankier, whereas the man seemed small, but not absolutely tiny.

"What's the deal with all the floating dirt and," he looked over the edge of the small island they stood on, "air?"

"What do you mean?" Eren tilted his head.

"Well, you were the one that came up with all of this." The man stepped forward and stretched up to tap Eren's head. "Or at least this did."

"I'm not following." Eren shook his head and shrugged.

The man sighed. "Really, people are really thick." He muttered. "You're dreaming right now, if all this weird shit didn't make it obvious as fuck."

"Right…"

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"No, no! I… kind of do?" Eren frowned.

"You don't act like it." The man shook his head. "I'll prove it." He frowned for a moment. "Think of your favourite animal. It better not be some kind of rat or something." He grimaced.

"Animal?" Eren smiled. "Nah, it's not a rat."

Eren thought about his favourite animal. He thought about the soft fur against his fingers, and the bright, hopeful eyes that had peered up at him. He could remember them clearly, like it was only yesterday that… He bit his lip. He focused back on the cheerful yips that his pup would make, and the way that it would wag its tail whenever he saw it. He smiled softly at the memory.

"A dog?"

"Huh?" Eren glanced up at inquisitive grey eyes.

"A dog. That's your favourite animal?"

Something bumped against Eren's leg, and he looked down. At his feet, there was a black Leonberger puppy, pawing at his leg and demanding to be picked up. Big brown eyes stared up at Eren, and he felt a wave of relief go through him.

"Titan?" Eren whispered in disbelief.

The little puppy yipped and wiggled its behind, as its tail wagged furiously, like some fighter jet about to take flight. Eren reached down and scooped up the pup. He felt a warm feeling in his chest as he raised Titan up to get a proper look at her. Titan desperately reached towards Eren, and strained to lick his face. Eren laughed and hugged her close. He stroked Titan, and treasured the soft fur on his fingertips.

"She's not just any dog." Eren murmured and scratched behind Titan's ear.

"How so?" the man tilted his head.

"She, um. I got her just after…" Eren shook his head. "It doesn't matter. She's just really special, and she was there when I really needed someone."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Eren glanced up to see the man's eyebrows were pinched into a frown. "What's wrong?"

"Me?" The man glanced up. "Oh, nothing, I'm fine." He shook his head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." A sigh left the man's soft lips. "She's really important to you, isn't she?"

"Was." Eren's face fell into a frown. Titan whined.

"'Was'? What do you mean 'was'?"

"She's…" Eren frowned and put Titan down. He took a step back.

"Hey, watch out, you're kind of close to the-" The man took a step towards Eren and lifted his hand a little towards Eren.

"She's dead. This isn't- none of this is- she's dead. Oh my god, Titan's dead." Eren shook his head as Titan kept pawing at his leg, and tried to get his attention again.

"Eren."

"She's dead. She's dead because- she's-"

"Eren!"

Another step backwards, and Eren started falling again. The man had grabbed onto Eren's sleeve, and ended up falling with him. He gritted his teeth and grasped Eren's shirt tighter. Eren felt tears well in his eyes as the realisation that his pup was dead hit him. It was like a stab in the gut, and he bit his lip hard as he tried to stop the tears that began to fall.

"Eren! Listen to me." The smooth voice brought Eren away from his thoughts for a moment. "It's okay. She may be gone, but, at least you had her, right?"

The wind rushed past them, but the man's cool gaze was sharper than any wind. It seemed to stare into him, and Eren tried to swallow the lump in his throat. His lip trembled. The man gripped his arms tightly.

"It was better that she was there, than not at all." The man nodded, and Eren nodded in return.

He felt something wipe his tears away, and he looked up to notice the concerned glint in the man's eyes. Eren nodded again and smiled. The man sagged in relief and nodded reassuringly.

"You can always get another pup, you know. It won't be Titan, but," the man shrugged, "yeah."

Something loud and shrill echoed all around them. Eren whipped his head around in panic and he looked back to the man, and gripped his arms. Eren's green eyes widened, and the man shook his head.

"That's the wakeup call, I guess." The man nodded. "You're just waking up, that's all."

"Will I see you again?" Eren gulped and held on to the man tightly, as if he were a lifeline.

"If you can get to sleep tomorrow, I'll try."

"What do you mean you'll try? Aren't you a part of this?" Eren started to shake.

"Sort of. It doesn't matter." The man caught Eren's eyes and made sure he held it. "Tomorrow, okay?"

"O-okay."

"It's Levi."

"What?" Eren's eyebrows drew up in confusion. Everything started to get fuzzy and to crumble away into tiny pieces.

"I'm Levi."

As Eren's mouth fell open in realisation, Levi disappeared, and Eren jerked awake. He glanced around and fumbled to stop the obnoxious bleeping of his alarm. He slapped the table next to his bed, but struggled to get his arm out of the tangle of covers he was trapped in. He groaned as the alarm started to cause a headache, and he wriggled his arm out of his duvet. He slapped the alarm, and it stopped its beeping. Eren sat up in bed and rested his forehead in his hands.

"Tomorrow." He croaked.


	2. Chapter 2

Eren got up from his bed and dragged his feet along the wood floor on the way to the bathroom. The dingy bathroom was small, and had the bare necessities; a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste sat in a cheap plastic cup on the sink, and there was a towel on his old silver plated towel rack. He pulled the string chord for the light, and looked up into the mirror. He leaned on the sink, and stared at the blank eyes in the mirror. He blinked a couple of times, and he took in a deep breath. He stripped off his shirt and trousers and started the shower. Eren ran a hand through his hair as he waited for the shower to warm up, and felt an unsettled feeling in his stomach. His dream had been so weird. He remembered the guy in his dream, but his memory of the dream was fading fast. He could remember that the guy was short. And he also had a weird haircut. Eren frowned. Those weren't exactly brilliant things to remember about someone from his dream.

"Lee? Leon? Lovo? Lovino?" Eren mumbled. "Something like that. L… L something. What was it?"

He stuck his hand into the stream of water from the shower, and decided it was warm enough. He got in the shower, and twenty minutes later got out and towelled himself off. He wandered into his bedroom and started rummaging through his wardrobe for something decent to wear to college. He soon picked some band's shirt and he picked up a pair of jeans from the day before.

"Clean enough." He muttered to himself.

Grunts and curses fell from Eren's mouth as he pulled on his jeans, and tried to do his batman belt up. He gave a sigh of relief when he was done, and nodded. He hunted around his dark room for a jacket, and eventually found one that he could wear. He gave himself a quick spray with deodorant to make sure he didn't smell, and then grabbed his bag and phone. He slung his bag over his shoulder and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. He made himself some toast and leaned against the counter, and looked around the kitchen. It was okay. It had everything a kitchen should have. He mostly used the hob, the toaster and the microwave, because Eren couldn't be bothered to cook half of the time, so he just ate whatever was there. He had only two plates, after an incident with a previous partner, where they got into an argument with him, and then proceeded to throw plates at the wall, only narrowly missing Eren's head. His kitchen was clean enough, and that was mostly because he didn't use it a lot. Eren took another bite of his toast and glanced down to his watch.

"Shit." He immediately ran out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

Eren fought with his shoes for a moment, and managed to get them on. He quickly tied his laces and fumbled in his pockets for his keys. He grappled with the door, and wrenched it open. Eren shook his head; he needed to get that lock fixed. He spun around and locked the front door. He flew down the stairs and hurried to the bus stop. He just managed to wriggle his way onto the bus, flashed his pass, and grabbed a seat near a window. He grabbed his phone and plugged his earphones in. He leaned his head against the bus window, and waited for his stop.

The bus eventually pulled up to Eren's stop, and he climbed off it, and cast the driver a quick 'thanks' as he did. He hitched his bag up his shoulder, and strode into college. He walked through the spacious entrance that showcased the library, and had a small booth with a sign saying 'Office' hung over it, and climbed up the spiral staircase that stood to the back of the building. He jogged over to his classroom and walked in. He smiled at his teacher and greeted her, and then sat down in his seat at the back of the class. He put his bag on the floor and cast a glance to his friend, Armin.

"Hey."

"Hey. You're late again." Armin stated and scribbled some notes in his notebook.

"Yeah, I know, but at least I wasn't super late." Eren shrugged and got out his notebook and pen.

"I guess there's that. You know you've missed a fair amount of content, right?" Armin glanced to Eren and assessed him with surveying blue eyes.

"That's why I have you; to get that stuff for me."

"Charming."

"I've been told as much." Eren smirked at Armin and winked.

Armin rolled his eyes and kept taking notes from the teacher. Eren leaned back in his chair and occasionally jotted a few things down, as his Law teacher went on and on about the court system. He rolled his eyes. He was sure they'd gone over this a thousand times and more. He glanced to Armin and rested his hand on his cheek. As he watched Armin write, he noticed the way that Armin's face had relaxed, and his light blue eyes kept glancing between his paper and the board. Eren frowned a little. The serene look in Armin's eyes reminded of his dream, and the man who looked at Eren as he fell. Eren chewed on his lip idly. He tried to remember as much as he could about his dream. There was something with islands, a black room, and lots of broken furniture and possessions. The man in his dream seemed familiar, but the thought of him made something pang in his chest. He didn't know why, but there was something about the man that made his chest feel heavy, and he wanted to just rip open his chest to ease it.

"Eren?"

Eren's eyes snapped up to Armin.

"Eren, you okay?" Armin frowned at Eren as he packed away his stuff.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." Eren shoved his stuff into his bag.

"You seemed a little spaced out for most of that. Are you sure you're okay?" Armin put his bag on his back and waited for Eren to get his things together.

"I just had a dream last night that I can't get out of my head." Eren ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

Armin stared at Eren for a moment, and then nodded. He gently nudged Eren's shoulder and pushed both of their chairs in. Armin offered Eren a smile and sighed. He guided Eren out of the classroom and took him to their next lesson. They walked into the class and took their seats. It appeared that only three other people had bothered to show up to their Psychology class. Armin kept glancing to Eren and noting the dull look in his eyes. He wasn't quite sure what he could have dreamt about that would put Eren in such a strange mood, but he hoped it wasn't something that he couldn't help with.

"Have you spoken to Mikasa today?" Armin got his things out on his desk and eyed Eren from the corner of his eyes.

"Nope."

"Oh. Did you, um, have a nightmare last night?"

"What?" Eren turned his head to Armin.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"What am I, six? No, I didn't have a nightmare." Eren frowned. He sighed. "Sorry."

"It's okay. There's obviously something troubling you. What is it?" Armin flicked open to a clean page in his notebook and waited for the teacher to turn up.

"It was just a weird dream last night. It doesn't matter, it's fine."

"How was it weird?"

"There was someone in my dream, and it just. I don't know, I'm being kinda stupid I guess, but there was just something that made me feel… I don't know, not upset but-"

"Down?" Armin offered.

"Yeah, kind of." Eren shrugged.

"Was it something they said? Or was someone being killed?" Armin jotted down what Eren was saying, so he could tell Mikasa later.

"No, it was just." Eren sighed. "It's nothing. It was just some dream." He shook his head. "I should forget about it."

"Yeah, maybe that's for the best." Armin nodded.

They both turned their eyes to the portly woman that walked in and greeted the class with a smile. She commented on the low turnout and shook her head, and carried on with her lesson. An hour later, Eren and Armin packed up their things again, and Armin shot Mikasa a quick text to speak to him on his free period. Armin shoved his phone back in his pocket and smiled at Eren. They left the college to go out to the nearby Tesco and grab some sandwiches. As Eren stood at the fridge, and eyed up the few choices and tried to make a decision, Armin snapped a quick picture of the uncomfortable look on Eren's face, and sent it to Mikasa. He quickly hid his phone and picked up a tuna sandwich. He watched Eren shake his head to snap himself out of his daze, and he grabbed the first sandwich he came to, and nodded to Armin to go and pay. Armin shot Eren a glance and they paid for their lunch.

They sat down on a bench and ate their lunch, and occasionally swapped bits of conversation, and asked about what the other did the past night. Eren barely took three bites of his sandwich by the time Armin had finished, and Armin shot him a worried look.

"You not hungry?"

"Oh." Eren nodded. "Yeah, I just got distracted. Do you have a drink?"

"Yeah." Armin nodded and handed Eren his bottle of water.

"Thanks." Eren took a swig of Armin's drink and handed it back.

"No problem." Armin put his drink away and took out his phone to answer Mikasa's previous text.

"Who you texting?" Eren ate his sandwich and peered over Armin's shoulder.

"Mikasa. She's asking if you're up to no good. I said yes, as expected." Armin smiled.

"Hey! I'm only eating a sandwich. Is that a crime?"

"No, but please chew with your mouth closed, it sounds horrible in my ear." Armin tapped his fingers on his phone screen.

"Sorry." Eren sat back in his seat and finished his sandwich.

Eren rubbed his hands together and put their rubbish in the bin. He stood up and Armin followed him. They went back into college and they parted for their next class. Eren had Art, whereas Armin had Maths, which had bored the ever living fuck out of Eren in high school. He just couldn't remember all the rules and formulae that was needed, and it just made him want to jump off a cliff onto jagged rocks covered in shit.

He dragged his ass up to Art and waved to someone he vaguely remembered speaking to last week. He managed to somehow make his way through the rest of the day, spending most of it in Art, sketching some bones and figures, and then not having anything from two. He sighed his way through, and eventually dragged his behind to the bus stop. He climbed onto the bus, and sent a text to Armin, that he was tuckered out, and going home already. He sat down in a vacant seat and, once again, shoved earphones in his ears. He spent the bus ride home trying to focus on the beats of his music, and blocking everything out. He wanted to just be taken away to live with the lively beats in his music, that were easier to understand and remember than any dream, or fact about the legal system, and more pleasant than the most beautiful art work he could ever lay eyes on. With music, he could block out the world, and forget everything around him. When he was listening to his music, he didn't worry about exams, or friends, or family. He could just sit back, close his eyes, and simply exist. He opened his eyes to look out the window and noticed that he wasn't far from his stop. He picked up his bag and stood up near the doors.

"Thanks." He nodded to the driver as he got off.

The front door slammed shut as he hit it with his foot, and shrugged off his bag. He wandered into the kitchen and made a sandwich for dinner, and grabbed some fruit, and sat down on his sofa. He switched on the TV, but it ended up being background noise as he just sat silently with his plate on the arm of the sofa. He rubbed his hand over his face and came to the decision that he'd pick a film, and maybe that would help. He glanced at his films and picked the first one that stood out to him. He put it on, and walked into the hallway to grab his bag. As his hand grabbed the shoulder strap of his bag, he froze. He felt a tingle go down his spine and his heart picked up. He whipped his head around, as he swore he heard something screeching, but then shook his head.

"Must be my imagination." He murmured.

Eren shrugged it off and brought his bag into his living room. He opened it up and checked his planner for the homework he had to do, and grimaced. He had an Art assignment to do, but he didn't feel like doing it. The mere thought of sitting on his floor and trying to draw was a big no-no. He then noticed the sheet he'd been given to finish for Psychology and got it out. He sat back on the sofa with his notebook, sheet and pen and started to try to finish it as the film of his TV ran. He occasionally glanced up to the film and huffed. He didn't mind the film, and he hadn't seen it in a while, but he wasn't all that far from finishing the sheet.

An hour later, Eren had finished the sheet and watched the film. He hadn't touched his dinner, if you could even call it that, and he wriggled his nose. He glanced at his watch. It was only seven. He sighed and put his notebook away and went into his room. He threw off his clothes, and rummaged around for his baggy jumper and favourite pyjama bottoms, which were decorated with swords.

"I'm a grown-ass man, and grown-ass men wear sword pyjamas." Eren mumbled as he swayed his hips from side to side and pulled his bottoms on.

He pulled on his jumper too, and gathered up the dirty clothes from the floor. He shoved them all in the laundry basket, and picked up the scattered books on his floor. He put them all on the bookshelves, and checked that his bathroom floor was clear too. Eren nodded at his handiwork and padded through to his living room. He changed the film on his TV, and then sat down with his sandwich, and slowly munched his way through the film. He glanced at his watch. It was gone ten when the film had finished.

"Lord of the Rings, the longest films known to man." Eren turned off the TV and grabbed his stuff.

Eren put his plate in the kitchen sink and then went into his bedroom. He left his bag by the side of his bed, and put his phone on charge, and put it on the little table beside his bed. He rolled into bed and curled up in the duvet. He pulled the duvet up to his nose and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He felt comfortable and safe in his bed. Eren soon drifted off to sleep.

The bed was familiar. The little table with his phone on it was there, and his wardrobe and chest of drawers were there too. He was stood in his doorway, and everything seemed normal, except for one thing; the man from his last dream was sat on his bed.

"Um. Hi?" Eren tilted his head.

"Ah, there you are. I've been waiting around for a while."

"What was your name again?"

"Levi. Did you forget already?" Levi raised his eyebrow.

"No, I was just testing you. I knew you were Levi."

"Sure." Levi rolled his eyes and lounged on Eren's bed.

"Um. Levi? Why are you on my bed?"

"There's not exactly anywhere else to sit is there? I am not sitting on your dirty floor. I've seen how you leave your shit everywhere; it's like a fucking bomb-site."

"Hey, it's not that bad. I cleaned up." Eren frowned and pointed to the empty floor.

"This is what you call cleaned up?" Levi raised his eyebrow.

"Well, I mean… Yeah?" Eren ducked his head sheepishly.

"No. It's not." Levi crossed his legs. "At least your bedsheets are clean."

"Changed 'em like yesterday, I think." Eren leaned against his doorframe.

Levi paused. "Are you just gonna stand there? I don't bite. Sit down." He motioned to the space on Eren's bed.

"I just wasn't sure if- okay." Eren sat on the edge of the bed.

Levi stared at Eren. He shook his head and grabbed Eren's arm. He pulled Eren to sit next to him, but left space between them. He laced his fingers together and looked at Eren. He frowned and nudged Eren with his foot. Eren tilted his head at Levi.

"What?"

"Something's up." Levi nudged Eren's foot again. "Tell me."

"Nothing." Eren shrugged.

"Don't lie to me, Eren. Don't you dare."

"Sorry. It's just bugging me that," Eren frowned and fiddled with his pyjama bottoms, "well, this is a dream, right?"

"I guess, yeah." Levi nodded.

"So, I didn't actually see Titan yesterday."

"Well, you dreamt of her, but she wasn't physically there beside you, no."

"I didn't see her then." Eren looked down at his lap.

"Hey." Levi tipped Eren's chin up. "You can see her as much as you want here." He shrugged. "Nothing's stopping you getting her again."

"Yeah but, it's not the same, is it?"

Levi went silent. He swallowed and he bit his lip. His eyes wouldn't look at Eren, and Eren got confused. He didn't understand why Levi suddenly didn't say anything. He was expecting Levi to reassure him and say that he should go ahead and get Titan, but when he ended up with no response, he thought over his words. Had he just upset Levi? Did he remind Levi of something that happened in the past, or maybe someone he lost? Eren chewed his lip.

"Did I upset you?"

"Hm? No, I just got distracted." Levi shook his head and looked at Eren. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm… alright." Eren shrugged.

"What was with Titan yesterday?" Levi leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"I just got upset because I haven't seen her since, uh." Eren frowned. "Since," he paused, "Um, since I was younger."

"How young?" Levi watched Eren carefully.

"Around seven or eight? I think?" Eren frowned. "And I remember she got a-"

"A what?" Levi noticed the way that Eren struggled to get out his words.

"I don't remember. I just remember that Dad took her away after he'd had an argument with my Mum, and I never saw her again. Dad said that Titan ran away, but I know he did something to her." Eren clenched his fists. "He had to have done something to her, right?" He looked to Levi for confirmation.

"I don't know. I don't want to say that he did when he didn't." Levi sighed. "Look, kid, Titan might have run away, or they may have given her away, or something. But, here, you can have her again, even if she's not there when you wake up, she'll be here for a little while."

"I guess so, yeah." Eren nodded.

"So." Levi nudged Eren and gave Eren the fur ball in his hands.

"Titan." Eren smiled softly.

Levi's lips twitched briefly. He hesitantly reached out a hand and petted Titan's head. Eren looked at Levi's hand, and then looked up to meet Levi's curious grey eyes. Eren smiled. When he looked at Levi, he felt a lingering sadness, but he wasn't sure why, because Levi was being fairly happy, or at least Eren hoped he was, and there wasn't anything clearly wrong. Eren nodded and petted Titan's neck. His fingers accidentally brushed Levi's and he jerked his fingers back. He glanced up to Levi, and saw the surprised look on his face.

"Sorry."

"What for?" Levi raised an eyebrow.

"For uh, upsetting you and uh, touching you?" Eren glanced to Levi briefly and twisted his mouth.

"You haven't and it's fine, I didn't really mind." Levi shrugged. "It wasn't like you groped my ass out of nowhere, or something."

"I guess." Eren laughed.

"That's better." Levi's lip twitched into a tiny smile.

"Hm?" Eren faced Levi.

"You're smiling." Levi shrugged. "It's really nice."

"Oh." Eren blushed. "Right. Thanks?" He laughed a little.

Titan twisted around to lick at Levi's fingers, and wiggled her tail around, and whipped Eren's chest. Eren leaned his head back to avoid Titan's whip, and accidentally let her go. She leapt from Eren to Levi, and tried to lick Levi's face. Levi grimaced and held her at arm's length. He shook his head. Eren smiled and scratched behind her ears. Titan's head lolled to the side and her tongue stuck out. Her leg started twitching and she leaned towards Eren's hand. Levi placed her down in the small space between him and Eren, and stiffly patted her head. He took note of the way that Eren gently stroked her fur, and softly scratched her, and he tried to follow Eren's example. He looked to Eren to check he was doing it right, and got an approving nod from Eren.

"She likes that." Eren murmured.

"Okay." Levi nodded.

"Don't you have a dog?"

"Eren." Levi frowned.

"What?"

"You know I…"

"You what?" Eren frowned.

"I- never mind." Levi shook his head. "No, I don't, and I didn't."

"Shame. You would be good with dogs, with some practice." Eren smiled.

"Thanks." Levi huffed what may have been a laugh.

They sat in silence for a while and gave Titan a fuss. Occasionally, Levi and Eren's fingers brushed, and Eren got shy, and pulled his hand away. Levi rolled his eyes and shook his head. Eren was being pretty shy with Levi. It wasn't quite the same as the more brazen version of the boy he'd seen yesterday. Maybe he'd accidentally said or done something that had irked him? Levi inspected Eren. He lavished the dog in attention, and treated her with soft, caring touches. Eren's lips were curved into a soft smile, and everything about him screamed 'massive softie'. Eren was wearing kid's sword pyjamas, for god's sake. Eren's green eyes seemed mellower today, whereas he'd noticed his eyes were vibrant and full of fear and excitement yesterday. Levi wondered if something had happened during the day, but then Eren had said it was the dream yesterday that left him feeling funny. Maybe it was him that was upsetting Eren.

"Hey, Eren?"

"Yeah?" Eren looked up.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?" Eren exclaimed. "What on earth do you mean? Why would I hate you?"

"You haven't answered my question. Do you hate me?"

"No!" Eren shook his head. "Why would I?"

"You said about feeling off about yesterday's dream, and I wondered if I was the problem."

"No, you're not. Or, at least, I don't think so."

Levi doubted that he wasn't the problem. How could he not be? Titan, Eren's probably dead dog didn't really seem to be bothering Eren majorly, and the only main other thing Levi could imagine being a problem was him.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Levi frowned.

"Not really. Don't think so?" Eren frowned too. He flicked his eyes to Levi. "I just get this feeling of…"

"Of what?" Levi lifted his head a little.

A familiar, loud beeping echoed around the room. Levi ignored it and asked Eren again.

"Eren, please. A feeling of what?"

"I, uh, a, um." Eren looked around. "I feel sort of," he swallowed around the lump in his throat, "a bit down."

"Because of me?" A flicker of hurt flashed through Levi's eyes, but it was gone in a flash and replaced by boredom.

"I don't know."

"I can leave you alone."

"Don't." Eren whispered desperately. He felt the familiar fuzzy feeling. "Can I see you again? Please?"

"Sure, kid."

As everything started to fizzle away into nothingness, the last thing that stuck with Eren was the way that Levi's eyes bored into him. He felt stuck, and like he was moving too fast all at once. That look in Levi's eyes was burned into his brain. It felt familiar and completely foreign at the same time, like he'd seen that haunting ghost before. He gritted his teeth and blinked his wary eyes open. His eyes scanned the room, and half expected Levi to be sat next to him. Instead of Levi, there was cold, empty space beside him, and glaring red lights from his alarm winking at him, as the alarm screamed. Eren felt his heart sink.

"Fuck."


	3. Chapter 3

Somehow, Eren managed to force himself through another day at his college, and tried to distract himself from everything by being consumed by the work he had to do, but it was to no avail. Every time he picked up his pencil and tried to draw in Art, the graphite left behind reminded him of Levi. Something about Levi irked him. He felt like there was something he had known, or should know about Levi. Levi was a stranger and yet, somehow, Eren felt like he knew Levi, or was supposed to. Eren had found himself drawing angular grey eyes, and thin fingers, and it didn't surprise him. So, he drew more. He filled pages of his sketchbook with Levi's face, hands, and body. Page after page was decorated by grey lines, ghostly glances, and unreadable expression after expression. It was therapeutic in a way, to draw Levi, but it didn't quite settle Eren in the way he thought it might. He had believed that maybe if he got it out of his system by drawing it out repeatedly, he could focus on something other than the man who'd been in his dreams. However, that was not how it was, for Eren's thoughts of Levi got worse, if that were possible. Instead of Levi popping into his head on occasion, Levi was constantly there. He was curious to try to understand Levi better, but he wasn't sure if it would make things better… or worse.

Eren sat on the floor of his small living room, and leaned his back against the settee. He looked down at his hands. They were covered in something red. Eren's heart thumped faster and he stared at his hands in disbelief. He scrambled to his feet and ran to the sink. He grabbed a scrubbing brush and raked the brush against his skin, as he tried to get the copper-smelling liquid from his hands. Eren struggled to swallow, as his throat felt tight, and it refused to cooperate. His breathing had quickened, and his hands started to get sore from his ferocious scrubbing. He thrusted his hands under the hot water and screwed his eyes shut as he winced. When he opened his eyes, his hands were red, but not from being covered in something. His hands were bright red and aching from the cruel bristles on the scrubbing brush, and the scolding hot water. He yanked his hands from underneath the hot stream, and stared at them with wide eyes. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, like a fish out of water, and kept turning his hands over, as if he expected for them to be covered in filth again.

"What the… ah." Eren hissed through his teeth as he curled and uncurled his fingers. "What was that?"

Suddenly, a loud screech echoed in Eren's ears and he clapped his hands over his ears. He shouted and crouched down and gritted his teeth, as his eyebrows pulled together and his eyes closed. He felt tears come to his eyes and his lips fumbled around a name. Eren sat on his kitchen floor and slowly pulled his hands from his ears, to place over his face. His apartment was silent, except for his harsh breathing, and the splashing of the water from the tap. Eren opened his eyes and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his hand. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists, as he counted down from ten to calm down. Eren vaguely noted that his phone went off in the other room, and he licked his lips. He stood up and held onto the counter as he tried to stop his legs from shaking. He turned off the tap, and made his way into the living room to grab his phone. He unlocked his phone and saw his wallpaper of himself, Mikasa and Armin together, smiling. They'd been at the beach, then, and they'd spent the day running around in the sea, and splashing each other until they were worn out. They'd laid down on the golden sand and watched the horizon, as the sun set, and casted an orange glow over the smooth waves of the ocean. Eren remembered that day with a warm fondness. He shook his head and saw the small message icon in the top of the screen. He went to his messages, and saw it was from Mikasa.

"'Eren, I'm outside your apartment.' Huh?" Eren frowned. He had a lightbulb moment. "Opticians."

With his keys and wallet in his pockets, Eren headed out of his apartment to meet Mikasa. He looked around as he left the simple metal door of his apartment building, and noticed Mikasa stood by a lamppost, with a red scarf wrapped around her neck, and up to her nose. She adjusted her scarf and fastened the final button on her long black coat. Her dark eyes glanced up, and spotted Eren. She strode towards him and nodded.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yeah." Eren nodded.

Mikasa lead the way into town, and glanced out of the corner of her eyes at Eren. She looked him up and down, and her eyebrow twitched into a brief frown. She put her hands in her pockets, and glanced down to Eren's hands. She shook her head gently and faced forward.

"What happened to your hands?" She asked monotonously.

"Oh," Eren lifted his hands and gave them a quick once over, "nothing, I just spilled tea, and it was a bit hot."

"Mm, because hot water scrubs off your skin." Mikasa glanced to Eren. "Armin also mentioned that you were acting weird yesterday."

"I wasn't acting weird." Eren shook his head. "I just didn't sleep well."

"Don't lie to me."

"It's not a lie!"

"I know sleep had something to do with it, and you barely sleep anyway, but it wasn't just sleep. There was something else." Mikasa frowned. "I worry about you, and Armin."

"Yeah, I know you do, but I'm fine." Eren smiled weakly. "Honestly."

"You said that before, too." She muttered to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Mikasa sighed and waved her hand. When they walked up to the Optician's, she led Eren inside and got them signed in. As they sat on the worn seating in the narrow corridor of the shop, she patted Eren's knee and smiled at him. From what Armin had told her, she guessed that there was something that was obviously bothering Eren, but she didn't want to have to force it out of him. She picked at her nails and thought about Eren's reaction when she'd asked about his hands. They were starting to blister in places, and she didn't like the foreboding idea that it left. It unsettled her to think that Eren may be thinking about something like the past, or that he may even be hurting himself over something, and it concerned her that Eren wasn't talking to her or Armin about it. Normally, if Eren had a problem, he'd come straight to them, and they'd help him to get through it, or forget about it if it was irrational. She didn't like the implications.

"Eren Jaeger?" A short woman with brown hair tied into a messy bun, called sweetly. She smiled around at the people sat in the seats. "Mr Jaeger?"

"That's you." Mikasa nudged Eren.

"Oh, right, yeah." He gave a small smile. "Sorry." He followed the woman.

It took half an hour for Eren to come back from having his eyes tested. As Mikasa stood, Eren was followed by the woman from before, and she chatted animatedly about the cost of the frames and if he was allowed money off due to being in full-time education. Mikasa raised an eyebrow, and Eren shrugged and motioned for her to come with him. They were led to a section at the back of the shop, where the walls had racks of glasses, and different frames and companies' names were labelled above some of them. Eren was given a quick tour of the different ones, and then left to his devices to choose a pair.

"Your eyesight's that bad?" Mikasa looked around at all the different frames.

"It's not terrible, but it's not great either. They said I needed them, but I bet glasses won't even work that well for me." Eren shrugged and picked up a random pair and tried them on.

"No." Mikasa grimaced. "They're covered in tacky designs."

"Oh," Eren took the glasses off and brought them to his face to get a clear look at them, "Oh, yeah, you're right. Whoops." He bit his lip. "Maybe you can pick out some for me?"

"Sure." Mikasa nodded.

Mikasa got to work. She quickly glanced around and picked off four different pairs of glasses and got Eren to try them on. She managed to narrow the choices down to two, for Eren, and put back the ones they didn't need. One pair was black and had two simple bands of blue on the sides, and the other was a light emerald colour. Eren tried both pairs again, and he walked up to a mirror and tried them on for himself. He leaned his face towards the mirror to get a clear picture, and inspected the black glasses. He didn't mind them. He took the glasses off carefully, and tried the green pair. His eyebrows immediately rose up and he shrugged. The green of his eyes were more obvious now, and it really accentuated his eyes nicely. He turned around to Mikasa.

"What do you think about these?" He pushed the nose of the glasses up his nose more.

"Yeah." Mikasa smiled. "I really like them."

"These ones then." Eren smiled and nodded.

He took off the glasses and he walked back towards the front of the shop where there was a desk, with several smiling women behind it, all of them in black dresses, or trousers. As Eren handed over the glasses, the woman smiled and they went through the process of checking that they fitted Eren properly. They put through the order, and Eren paid for his glasses, which had been knocked down in price due to being at college, and he nodded in thanks. They booked a date for Eren to collect his glasses, and then he and Mikasa left the shop. Mikasa smiled at Eren and talked him into getting something to eat.

They walked to a nearby favourite chip shop. Mikasa got a portion of chips, and they ate them as they had a slow walk back towards Eren's apartment. Mikasa kept stealing Eren's chips, and that made Eren try to get his revenge by holding them out of her reach. She pinched his side, and stole the chips from Eren before he almost dropped them. She stuck her tongue out at Eren and he replied in kind.

To any outsider, they probably looked like a couple. They probably looked like they recently got into a relationship, and were being playful and openly affectionate, but they were like siblings. They loved each other dearly, and they would protect each other to the ends of the earth and back, but they just didn't feel romantic feelings to each other. Their trio was built on love and understanding, and that meant that they knew when something was up with one of the others. Their bond couldn't be broken by steel, or wood, or lies or deceit, because they trusted each other, and that was what was important. They spent less time together, due to school and other duties, but that made the time they spent together even more special, because they treasured every second. Every smile, every laugh, every joke was etched into their memories and stacked away for when any of them felt alone or left out. They tried to not leave each other out of things, but it was getting harder and harder to.

"We're here." Mikasa grabbed the rubbish from Eren's hands, and threw it in the bin.

"Yep." Eren brought Mikasa inside his apartment building, and unlocked his front door.

"Film?" Mikasa offered.

"Yep." Eren nodded and shed his coat and shoes.

As Mikasa wandered off deeper into his apartment, Eren leaned his forehead on his front door. He sighed and closed his eyes. He felt a weight on his shoulders. He shook his head, he couldn't let himself be pulled down. He had Mikasa around to focus on right now, and he couldn't just spend his time moping in his hallway.

"What film do you want?" Mikasa called.

"Whatever is fine."

Eren went into his living room and found Mikasa sat on the floor in front of the films that were on display under his TV. She looked up and raised up two films and told him to choose one. Eren grunted and shrugged as he sat on the settee. Mikasa rolled her eyes and stuck some slash horror on. She fell onto the settee and brought her feet up onto it, and waited as the cliché title flashed on the screen, accompanied by overly anxious violins screaming. Eren raised his eyebrow at Mikasa's choice of film; Nightmare of the Crawling Phantom. He wasn't impressed. Mikasa just raised her eyebrow in return and covered her smile with her cream knitted jumper. Eren rolled his eyes and rested his cheek in his hand. He tried to pay attention to the film, but the smooth voiced supposed-to-be-sixteen-but-was-thirty-six male lead kept reminding him of Levi's voice murmuring to him about Titan, and dogs. He shifted in his seat. He looked back up to the screen just in time to see a close-up of a woman's face as she breathed really heavily. Eren rolled his eyes. Horror films were so stupid and overrated.

His mind drifted to thinking about Levi, again. He conjured up scenarios where he asked him various questions about his life, and tried to get to know him better. He thought about sitting on the bed with Levi and just talking for a while about some of the times he'd spent with Armin and Mikasa, and how he loved seeing them smile. He thought about Levi putting Titan down, and shuffling closer next to Eren, so that their thighs touched, as Eren talked about his friends. He thought about feeling the warmth of Levi's fingers as he laced them with Eren's fingers, and the hint of a smile that would play at Levi's lips, as Eren talked about something stupid he did. He dreamed of Levi tilting Eren's chin up, as he looked away shyly. Levi would tut at him, and Eren would smile. When Levi started asking about Eren's favourite things, and as he asked about his favourite colour, Eren would say 'grey'. If Levi asked why, Eren would brush his fingers over Levi's cheek and lean in. Levi would lean in with a smile.

Eren blushed and shook his head. He couldn't seriously be thinking about some made up scenario where he kissed some guy from his dreams, could he? He'd have to be insane or stupid to do so, right? He glanced to Mikasa and saw that she wasn't paying any attention to him at all. She was engrossed in the film, and Eren thought he was safe. He shifted in his seat and rested his head on his arm, which lay across the arm of the settee. He slowly closed his eyes, and believed he'd be able to stay awake.

Tall, Victorian style houses lined the foggy street. Rubble lay around on the ground everywhere, and there was not an inch of uncovered pavement to be seen. He heard the voices of a group of people, and he turned around to see three faces that he didn't recognise. Two women were talking with a tall male, and Eren frowned. He looked around and slowly walked up to the group. They noticed him and motioned for him to come closer.

"Come on, we have to find somewhere to stay." The girl with curly black hair murmured.

"Yeah, but where? We know most of these places are probably booby-trapped, especially after the incident last week." The other girl, who was obviously more confident, shrugged and looked at the curly haired girl snobbishly.

"There's one place I know of." The male spoke up.

"Where?"

"Follow me." The guy showed them down a back alley.

Big, American style dumpsters littered the back of the houses, and each of them had a short set of stairs that led to a large wooden door. The guy opened the door, which led to a cluttered black kitchen, where pots and plates seemed to have been thrown around and left in tall piles everywhere. They were shown up a grand wooden staircase, and onto a narrow landing. The corridor led in two directions; north and south. The guy headed north and guided them into a large room. The walls were black, and made a gloomy air hang around in the room, and several long portraits of children and adults lined the walls. The floor was in disrepair, and parts of it was missing. A clock was hung on the wall, and a writing desk was in the far corner, beneath a large bay window. The ceiling was abnormally high, probably seven or eight meters high, and it made Eren feel miniscule. Books and bits of wood also littered the floor, and the group that Eren was with brushed most of it aside, or down through the holes in the floor.

One of the portraits left an unsettled feeling in his stomach. It was a small boy sat in a chair. He had a grim expression on his face, and his eyes were lifeless. Everything about his posture suggested something sinister, and it set Eren on edge. He glanced back to the group that brought him there, and they were setting out sleeping bags and laying down. Eren followed their example and got into a sleeping bag, which they provided. He remembered getting up a while later to the sound of something gasping for air. He looked around and noticed the portrait, which had been lit by a pale white glow. The light from the sun had gone, and the stars were out in the sky, and a soft moonlight glow flooded the floor from the bay window. Eren shivered and froze. The portrait had begun to move. The small boy climbed out from the portrait and stood in front of Eren with dull, grey eyes. The boy pointed behind Eren, without a word. As Eren turned, the ghostly gasping got louder, and he saw a figure stood over the group of people. They all stared at him with a grin, and bared their teeth. Eren gulped and looked at the figure. It was a slim woman with gouged out eyes that dripped blood. She opened her mouth impossibly wide, and a shrill scream shook Eren to his very core. Something touched him, and he took off running. His heart jumped into his throat and he felt sick.

Eren thundered down the stairs and slammed open the door he'd come through before, and ran out into the pouring rain. Thunder clapped, and made him jump, causing him to trip. He fell onto his front and looked behind him to see nothing, but the screaming was still loud in his ears. He scrambled to his feet and got dirt in his hands. He sprinted for somewhere to go. He could feel something chasing him, so he ran faster. He got onto a wide street filled with rubble similar to the one he'd seen originally. He stopped and tried to catch his breath. He looked behind him and then looked around him. He put his hands on his knees and took deep breaths to calm down. When he finally lifted his head, he saw something dark approaching him at a high speed. Then it went black.

When he finally saw colour again, he was sat on top of someone with a nasty grin on his face, and his hands wrapped around the handle of a knife. He shook his head and looked at the person beneath him.

"Eren." Levi wheezed.

Eren immediately dropped the knife and stared at Levi. He looked at his hands and saw blood. He screamed and scrabbled to get off of Levi. He shuffled backwards and shook his head rapidly in disbelief, denying what he had been about to do. Levi struggled to sit up, and he looked at Eren with sad eyes. He lifted his hand to Eren.

"Eren, stop. It's… stop." Levi winced and crawled towards Eren.

"No, no, no, I-I almost. I just." Eren shook his head and felt tears spring to his eyes. "I'm confused."

"Hey, hey." Levi took a deep breath and made his way over to Eren. "It's okay, I'm here."

Eren shook his head again and curled up into a ball. He sobbed into his knees. He felt something wrap around him, and he lifted tear-stricken face. At the sight of Levi's face, Eren felt a sob rise in his throat again. Levi shook his head and used his jacket, with a grimace, to wipe away Eren's tears. Eren laughed a little at that, and he saw Levi's face lift a little when he did.

"I'm scared." Eren muttered. He regretted saying it until he heard Levi's reply.

"Nothing's going to get you with me here, kid, I promise." Levi cupped Eren's cheek.

"But I almost…"

"No. Forget it." Levi shook his head. "I don't exactly appreciate what you _almost_ did, but you didn't actually do it."

"I still don't. This is a dream, right? But if it is, you're still real, right?"

"This is a dream." Levi looked away and didn't want to answer the other half of Eren's question.

"Levi." Eren grabbed Levi's arms. "You're real, right?"

"Well, I don't see anything wrong with you physically, so let's go somewhere to get dry."

"Levi." Eren shook his head and pulled away from Levi. "Answer me. Please."

"This isn't a good place to stay dry." Levi looked around.

"Levi!" Eren grabbed Levi's face and held eye contact with him.

"Eren." Levi's voice cracked. "Don't."

"I need to know. Because if you are real, I want to meet you, someway, somehow. Please. I want to know if I'm going crazy over someone I made up!"

Levi licked his lips and looked at his feet. He coughed and took a deep breath. He grabbed Eren's hand and took him to sit under some shelter on one of the front steps of the houses. He squeezed Eren's hand and took a deep breath. He cleared his throat.

"I won't bullshit you, not you." Levi began. "I would answer you if it were that easy, and I'd meet you in a heartbeat, but this is the only way that is safe."

"What do you mean 'the only way that's safe'?" Eren frowned. "I want to be able to spend more time with you than the few hours I spend asleep. If I have to," Eren shook his head, "I don't know, walk a long distance to do that, then that's okay."

"It's not a matter of distance, or something like that. It's just that, this is the only safe way to see you, and that's all I want to say about it." Levi held Eren's hand in his lap.

"I still don't understand."

"It's better if you don't. I don't want you to do something stupid because you found out and remembered."

"If I remembered what?" Eren frowned and leaned towards Levi.

"Nothing." Levi cursed at himself and shook his head. "It's better left in the past, Eren. It would actually be better if you forgot me entirely."

"Forgot you? How?" Eren exclaimed incredulously.

"I don't know! It would just be better if you did!" Levi frowned and let go of Eren's hand.

"Why? Levi! I don't understand why you're being like this. Did I do something wrong?" Eren grabbed for Levi, who was rising to a stand.

"You haven't. Well, it wasn't on purpose, you didn't see it coming but- shit. I need to stop. I can't, Eren. I have to- I should…"

"Levi, please…" Eren stood up and hugged Levi tightly to him. "Don't leave me, please."

"Eren." Levi held onto Eren's arm.

"I want to see you again, please. " Eren begged.

"You shouldn't." Levi managed to get the words out of his mouth. He tried to keep his calm façade, but he was really struggling. "It'd be easier."

"But I don't want to stop seeing you."

"Eren." Levi smoothed his face into a stern mask. "I don't want to see you."

Eren's breath hitched and he stared at Levi with wide eyes. He released Levi, but kept his hand in Levi's shirt. He shook his head and felt a new wave of tears fall down his cheeks. He felt cold, and he was desperate to have Levi turn around and refuse that he had said that. He wanted Levi to smile at him and tell him that he was hearing things and being silly. He wanted Levi to tell him they could meet soon, and then Eren could actually hold him and feel the warmth radiate off of Levi. Eren was hoping that Levi would cup his cheeks and say he was joking, and then he'd kiss Eren's cheek and apologise for teasing Eren.

It wasn't what happened. Levi watched Eren fall to his knees and put his face in his hands as he sobbed. Eren's shoulders shook as he cried, and Levi wanted to reach out and console him, but he knew that this was for the best. If Eren could just let go, and forget, it would mean that Eren could move on with his life and stop focusing on something that's not even real. He felt intangible for Eren. He hated to see Eren crying like this, but it wasn't the first time. He didn't know what to do to make it easier for Eren, so he quietly left without another word. He disappeared down the street, and vanished into thin air. Eren looked up and tried to stop crying, but the empty stair made it worse.

Eren woke up with tears running down the sides of his face, and his sheets were kicked off of the bed. He shivered and looked around. He glanced at his clock. It was five am. He wasn't going to go back to sleep now, there was no point. He wiped his eyes and got up. He felt hollow, and he only had one thing on his mind; Levi didn't want anything to do with him.


	4. Chapter 4

A week passed. He hadn't seen Levi at all. Eren got up, went to school, stayed awake until four am, and slept for two or three hours, and then rinsed, washed, and repeated. He felt empty, but it couldn't just be over Levi. Or maybe it was. He kept going over and over his last meeting with Levi, and tried to come up with alternate scenarios where Levi never even came close to saying 'I don't want to see you'. He tormented himself with ideas of seeing Levi again, and having his dream come true; seeing Levi in person. He daydreamed about seeing Levi at college, and just running up to him and squeezing him tight. He shook his head.

Mikasa had taken Eren to get his glasses, well, more like dragged him. He'd sat in the chair with his shoulders hunched and his face down to his knees. He'd silently moved his head and done as the Optician had asked. Mikasa had watched him with a concerned frown, and she hesitated to reach out to Eren, and to ask him what was wrong. She took him home after, and rummaged through his cupboard as Eren curled up on the settee. Mikasa opened the fridge and opened all of his usual snack hiding spots, and it was all barely touched. She peered through the doorway to watch Eren. He pulled his head inside his jumped and made himself as small as he could. He shivered and jerked occasionally. Mikasa approached him carefully, and crouched down in front of him. She slowly laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Eren." She murmured. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine." He replied underneath his jumper.

"No," She sighed, "you're not. You've not eaten anything, have you?"

"Just leave me alone." Eren mumbled.

"Eren." Mikasa shook her head. "You know I'm here for you."

Mikasa lifted Eren's jumper and looked at his face. She lifted his chin, and her heart sank at the sight of sunken eyes, and red eyes. She gently brushed his cheek and touched her forehead to his. Mikasa closed her eyes.

"You look like shit." Mikasa opened her eyes to meet Eren's sorry ones.

"Thanks."

"Maybe you need a distraction and a good spruce up would be good. Some sleep and food would be of help." Mikasa gently took Eren's jumper off of him.

"But I don't want to."

"Tough luck, buttercup." Mikasa offered a smile. "We don't have to go out for long, but I want you to spend some time out of this flat."

"Fine." Eren sighed.

"Good."

Mikasa let Eren get showered as she picked something nice for him to wear. She laid out the simple shirt and jeans on the bed for Eren, and then tried to tidy up Eren's atrocious flat a little. She put clothes from the floor into the laundry, and righted the settee cushions. She gathered up scattered DVDs and stray blankets, and put them into their rightful places. She soon heard a rustling in Eren's bedroom and knocked on his door.

"Are you at least half decent?"

"Yeah." Came the mumbled reply.

She opened his bedroom door and lifted up the shirt Eren still had to put on. She handed it to him and searched through his shoes to find something that would look good with the outfit she'd given Eren, and just decided on some plain black converse. Eren took them and nodded his thanks. Mikasa sat on Eren's bed and tapper her fingers over the screen of her phone idly, and made sure that the people who'd agreed to come were definitely coming.

"I'm dressed." Eren shrugged.

"Teeth. Brush them." Mikasa didn't look up from her phone.

Eren walked into the bathroom and got ready to brush his teeth. He looked up into the mirror. He had bags under his eyes, and he just looked exhausted. He shook his head, he was fine. He had just missed a couple of hours of sleep, there was no harm in that. It was easier for him to stay awake, than to go to sleep and still be tormented by the images of Levi, and then for they'd disappear, like a mirage. He started to brush his teeth, when he noticed a crack in the mirror. He frowned and tapped his finger against it. He noticed a shadow of something large behind him, and he turned around. A car horn blared in his ears and a bright light filled his eyes. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for some kind of impact, but nothing came. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and he fought to calm his heart rate down. There was a knock at the bathroom door.

"Are you almost done in there?"

"I, uh, yeah." Eren quickly finished brushing his teeth and cast one final glance to the mirror, before he left the bathroom.

"You okay?" Mikasa's eyebrows drew together. "You look a little bit spooked."

"I'm okay." Eren nodded a little and quickly changed the topic. "Where are we going?"

"Out." Mikasa walked over to the front door and opened it for Eren. "No," She said as Eren reached for his wallet, "you won't need it. You're not going to pay for anything."

"Wait, so you're paying?" Eren shook his head. "No, I'll need it." He grabbed his wallet and headed out.

"You won't need it." Mikasa replied simply.

They walked into town, and Mikasa led Eren down some back alleys, and towards a cosy restaurant. It had a simple sign above it reading 'Sasha's'. Vines grew up the side of the building and creeped inside a little window near the top, and made criss-cross patterns as it went. They went inside the humble black door, and were shown into a small dining area. Tables covered in black cloth and adorned with little vases of white lilies covered the cheap rectangular tables. Mikasa led Eren to a table near the back, where Armin sat next to Jean. Armin smiled angelically as Jean spouted some joke he'd told a hundred times before. Eren immediately frowned as soon as he saw Jean, and he was tempted to just walk straight out, but Mikasa's gentle hand convinced him otherwise.

"Armin." Mikasa smiled. "Jean." She nodded towards him.

"Hey." Armin waved to them.

"What's up, Jaeger?" Jean lifted his chin.

"Nothing. What's up with your hair?" Eren went to pull up a chair, but Armin shook his head.

"Ah, no, you sit here, I just need to talk with Mikasa for a minute." He got up and pushed Eren into his seat, opposite Jean.

"Huh? Why?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." Armin waved him off. "We'll be right back." He vanished.

Jean smacked his lips together and whistled. He looked at Eren, and Eren raised an eyebrow. Jean looked down to the table and fiddled with the tablecloth. He picked up a lily from the vase and twirled it in his fingers, and inspected it closely.

"What are you doing?" Eren's eyebrow twitched.

"I was just looking." Jean put the flower back. "So," he leaned back against the cushion rest of the seat, "what's been going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"What have you been doing?"

"Why would _you_ want to know?" Eren narrowed his eyes. He wasn't exactly in the mood for any pratting about Jean wanted to do.

"Just being polite." Jean shrugged.

"Oh." Eren frowned. "That's weird."

"What do you mean? I'm always polite."

"Bull. Shit." Eren shook his head. "You so aren't."

"Am too." Jean lifted his eyes up to Eren.

"Not." Eren raised an eyebrow.

"Yep, I totally am, and if you disagree, you're just saying it because you're jealous."

"Jealous? Why the fuck would I be jealous?" Eren grumbled.

"Because I clearly am more handsome and overall nicer than you." Jean smirked.

"Hey!" Eren stood up. "If you want to start petty shit, then we can do it some other time, because I'm not in the mood."

"Yeah? What's wrong?" Jean eased off a little.

"I just… I've had a lot on my mind lately." Eren shrugged. "It's nothing."

"Like what?" Jean leaned his forearms on the table.

"Just… stuff." Eren shook his head.

"Well, what about if we just went out somewhere? I heard there's a small fair in town?"

"Why should I? You're an asshole."

"Great." Jean laughed. "I was just trying to be nice."

"Are you sure you're able to be nice?"

"I'm being kinda nice now, aren't I?" Jean tilted his head.

"I guess. You're not blatantly insulting me, so it's a start." Eren shrugged.

"Well, what do you say? Do you want to go and walk around some shit rides?"

Eren paused for a moment. Was it really worth spending time out in the cold wind, just to walk around some probably fatal rides with a guy that he wasn't sure was his enemy or a close friend? Was there a point to it? Probably not, but he guessed it might be better to do that, than to spend time alone in his flat and going through his cycle of doubt. It was better to spend an hour or two getting a cold nose, than to spend that time in silence, alone, and feeling a heavy weight in his chest. Maybe this would help to start to ease that weight a little. Maybe this would take his mind away from his dreams and Levi. He bit his lip. He nodded.

"Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

Jean adjusted the black beanie that sat on his head, and shoved his hands in the pockets of his ripped skinny jeans. He glanced over to Eren and admired the way the grey and black checkered shirt clung to his chest, and the vaguely annoyed twitch of his eyebrow as he noticed Jean's stare. Eren focused his eyes ahead, and Jean smirked. He checked his phone and then glanced up. They wandered around the fair with their hands occasionally brush. Jean knew what he was doing. He pointed to a ride.

"Waltzers." Jean had to raise his voice to be heard over all of the loud music.

"What?" Eren looked at Jean.

"Do you want to go on that one?" Jean gestured to the ride with rapidly spinning bucket chairs.

"Sure." Eren nodded.

"Okay." Jean nodded.

He dug into his jeans to grab his wallet and grab the correct change for the ride. The ride eventually slowed down, and Jean grabbed Eren's arm and dragged him onto a seat in the back. He waited for Eren, who grumbled, to settle into his seat and then yanked the silver bar down into their laps. He shuffled down in the seat so that his head was beneath the rim of the ride's chair.

"Have you been on this before?" Jean looked to Eren who seemed confused by Jean's preparations.

"No." Eren shook his head.

Jean smirked. "Okay. Copy me." He smirked and gestured to his posture.

"Why? You look stupid, oh wait, no change there." Eren mumbled and then did as Jean had.

"You don't want whiplash."

"What the fuck?" Eren stared at Jean. Jean smirked cockily.

One of the people who ran the ride came over, and Jean paid for the both of them. The man held a cigarette between his lips and raised his eyebrow at Jean's smirk. He pocketed the money and stalked off to the booth in the center where a woman sat behind a small desk with a smile on her face. Her hand hovered over a button until she got the go ahead from all of the other people who came over to collect money from the people in the seats. The song changed to a fast paced song, and the ride jerked side to side, and then it very slowly started to spin. The seat started to swing from side to side as the main track also span in circles, and the cars went over the small dips and rises of the track. Eren looked to Jean with wide eyes as the ride got faster and faster, until their car span around and swung side to side purely from the force of the ride as the car was also moved along the circular wooden track. Music boomed in their ears and lights flashed wildly in the dark of the sheltered ride. Screams and whoops rose up from the other cars, and Jean grinned. Jean noticed the figure somehow manage to navigate their way to their car, and grab hold of their car, which was struggling to spin quickly on pure force alone. The man looked down at Jean and smirked. The cigarette was still between his lips, and glowing bright amber in the midst of the flashing rainbow of lights. The man smirked as he took a firm grip of the car and then span it as hard as he could.

"Oh fuck!" Eren yelled and latched onto Jean's arm as his eyes squeezed shut.

Jean laughed and whooped as they were spun in endless circles. He got cocky and lifted his arms in the air as the man gave their car a couple more harsh spins and moved off to another car, as they span along the track. Eren gripped Jean's jacket in a white knuckled grip and stared at Jean with wide eyes.

"How can you do that when we're going so fast?" Eren shouted through gritted teeth.

"What? Too scared, Jeager?" Jean flashed Eren his white teeth in a cocky grin.

"Scared? Me?" Eren asked condescendingly as he gripped Jean's jacket, "Of course not! I'm not frightened of some fucking ride." Eren growled.

"Really? Then why are you holding my jumper like that?" Jean laughed as the ride sent thrills down his spine.

"I'm not!" Eren scowled at Jean.

"You are!"

"Fuck you!"

"Maybe later." Jean shot back and grinned at Eren.

Eren was lost for words. He tried to come up with a snarky comeback, but Jean had surprised him with his frank suggestion of possible outcomes of this… thing. Was it a date? What even were they doing? He tried to rip his fingers from their iron grip on Jean's jacket, and immediately grabbed onto the steel bar that laid in their laps. His heart thumped. He thought he was going to fly off of the ride. Jean whooped beside Eren and threw his fists in the air and danced along to the song. Eren couldn't help the smile that creeped onto his face at Jean making an ass out of himself.

Eventually the ride began to slow. The music was turned down a little, as the woman in the center booth spoke into a microphone about getting ready for the next ride. Jean's arms went back into his lap and he looked at Eren, breathlessly. When the ride came to a stop, Jean lifted the steel bar and climbed out. He looked back and offered Eren his hand. Eren stubbornly shook his head and got out on his own. Eren stumbled and struggled to stay on his own two feet, and so Jean stepped forward and grabbed Eren's arm. Jean raised an eyebrow.

"A bit dizzy there, Jaeger?"

"Your face made me sick, that's why." Eren barked back and stumbled his way off of the ride.

"I'm just so dazzlingly handsome you couldn't handle it."

"Dazzlingly disgusting's more like it." Eren punched Jean's side.

"Whatever will help you to sleep at night." Jean smirked. "But I know the truth."

Eren rolled his eyes and made chatty motions with his hand. When he felt stable enough, he led Jean over to a ride called Moon Dancer. He nodded to it and raised an eyebrow in question to Jean. Jean nodded, and they lined up for the ride. They jumped into some seats and waited for the overhead bit to come down to secure them into their joined seats. Eren glanced to the woman beside him, and she looked absolutely terrified. Eren looked back to Jean, who twiddled his thumbs and turned his head to look at Eren. A woman came over and wiggled the black bar-like bit that strapped everyone in to the ride, and then nodded to a person stationed in the booth to start the ride. The ride swung them up and down, and ten pairs of legs went flying into the air, before they plummeted towards the ground, before being swung in a circle back up to hang up above in the air. Eren and Jean looked at each other and threw their hands up in the air as they were thrown towards the ground again. At one point, the ride teetered at the top again and anticipation rose within them as they waited for the ride to drop. Jean cockily made 'oooh!' noises and wiggled his fingers, until he shouted when he was suddenly jerked down and his eyes widened in shock. Eren couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled in his throat at Jean's face, and he took the piss out of Jean and copied his actions when they were, once again, at the top of the ride. The ride waited for longer this time and then as Eren waggled his fingers mockingly at Jean, he was thrown to the floor and he gripped onto the bar-like apparatus and let a squeak fall from his lips. Jean was in hysterics. He let out a laugh that came from deep in his stomach, and Eren watched him with his eyebrows raised slightly. His cheeks heated up in embarrassment, and he quickly frowned at Jean's smug laughter.

When they climbed off of the ride, Eren pouted childishly and he punched Jean's side. Jean stuck his tongue out at Eren and kept laughing as his mind kept flashing back to the look on Eren's face as he too was fooled by Moon Dancer.

"Fucking asshole." Eren growled.

"I can't believe you fucking," Jean broke into laughter again and took a gasping breath, "you fucking, oh my god." Jean held his stomach as he laughed.

"Yeah, well, you got surprised too!" Eren replied pathetically.

"I didn't look like as much of a mug as you!" Jean stuck out his tongue teasingly.

"You look like a fucking twat, that's what you look like." Eren gritted his teeth.

"You looked like more of a twat because you got syked while taking the piss out of me." Jean frowned.

They had wandered to the edge of the fair, where the rides died away, and the food stalls were beginning to end. The dark streets were lit up by cheap yellow streetlights, and cars whizzed past on the main road. Jean bickered with Eren, and Eren snapped back as they walked along the street. There weren't any pedestrians around, as they were either at the fair, or in the takeaway shops ten minutes in the opposite direction.

"You know what's wrong with you, Jean? You're a fucking snarky asshole!" Eren grabbed Jean's jacket.

"Not as much of a snarky asshole as you!" Jean fisted his hand in Eren's shirt and backed him into the wall.

"Bullshit! Everyone knows you fucked with Marco's ex, and that's an asshole move if ever I saw one." Eren bit out.

Jean growled and smashed his lips into Eren's. His teeth caught Eren's lip, and Eren hissed. Eren's hand slipped to grip onto the back of Jean's shirt. Jean's hand slid into Eren's hair and gripped it tightly. He yanked Eren's head to the side, causing Eren to let out a hiss as Jean brought his hips to Eren's and pinned him against the wall. Eren was trapped with Jean's teeth scraping his neck and making him bite his lip in an attempt to keep in the moan that threatened to slip from his bruised lips. His heart rate ran like a rabbit on speed, and he felt a curling finger of arousal in his gut. Jean huffed hot breath over Eren's neck as he moved Eren's shirt down to bite his collar bone. Eren gasped. Jean lifted his head and hurriedly brought his lips to Eren's, and Eren fought to dominate Jean, and bit his lip. Jean winced and took in a quick breath, which gave Eren the golden opportunity to slide his tongue between Jean's lips. Eren delved his tongue inside as Jean tried to fight against Eren, and Eren refused as he sucked on Jean's tongue. Eren pulled back and saw the heated spark in Jean's eyes, as he put his hands on Eren's hips and gripped them hard enough to leave marks. Jean's pupils were wide, and an animalistic growl rose in his throat as his fingers edged under Eren's shirt and stroked his soft caramel skin.

"Eren." Jean whispered between harsh breaths.

"Fuck."

Eren squirmed as Jean rolled his hips against Eren's, and drew a hiss from between Eren's teeth. Jean felt the way that Eren's fingers curled into his hair, and saw Eren lean his head back against the wall. Jean kissed along Eren's throat and sucked his neck hungrily. Eren sank his teeth into his lip and closed his eyes. His breaths stuttered as Jean bit and sucked Eren's collarbone greedily, like a man starved. A car screeched to a stop down the street and Eren's head snapped up with flushed cheeks, and he froze. He swore he heard a distant scream and he looked off down the street. Jean pulled his head up and looked at Eren with his eyebrows furrowed.

"What's," Jean panted, "what's wrong?"

"What was that?" Eren gulped.

"It was just some idiot." Jean shook his head.

"Yeah, but, that was…" Eren took a deep breath and shook his head. "N-never mind. I should get going."

"But, Eren." Jean loosened his grip on Eren's hips.

"I, uh. I should get home."

"I'll walk you." Jean took a tiny step back.

Eren paused. "Okay." He nodded. "Thanks."

"Okay." Jean nodded and smiled.

Jean gently pulled away from Eren and let him get himself together. Eren ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it, and he wiped off his jeans. Jean leaned forward with his mouth open slightly, and adjusted Eren's shirt. Eren nodded and felt his cheeks heat up slightly in embarrassment. Jean smirked and led Eren back to Eren's flat. Eren unlocked his door and brought Jean inside. Jean glanced around and opened his mouth to say something, but Eren's arms had locked around his neck as Eren latched onto his lips. Jean almost fell back, but felt Eren pulling him forwards. Eren somehow managed to guide them through the dark, past fallen books, and towards Eren's room.

The door slammed open, and Eren dragged Jean inside. He thrust Jean against the door as soon as it closed, and he placed kisses on the corner of Jean's mouth before trailing kisses down Jean's neck. He pushed Jean's shirt up and ran his fingers over Jean's stomach, as Jean quivered under his fingertips and took in a shuddered breath. Eren bit his lip as he looked at Jean's stomach and he flicked his eyes up to meet Jean's amber eyes. Jean's mouth fell open and his tongue darted out to wet his lip.

Eren grabbed Jean by his belt loops and dragged him to the bed. He threw Jean down and looked down at him from the end of the bed. Jean leaned back on his hands and glanced to Eren before he teasingly slid his thumbs down to the waist of his jeans. He fingered the button.

"Well, Jaeger?"


	6. Chapter 6

Eren looked around. He couldn't see a thing. He reached his arms out and checked for anything that he could possibly touch. His heart rate rose. He began to walk forwards, blindly, and hoped that he'd bump into something soon and would find some light switch or torch or something at least. His footsteps echoed around him. He must be walking on something hard, and the ground under his shoes didn't feel bumpy, so it must be concrete or marble, or laminate flooring. Eren took one final step and stopped. He had to come up with a good idea. He had to try to figure out where he was.

Bright blue light flashed in Eren's eyes. His eyes screwed shut and he gasped as his arm flew up to block the light. He slowly wrenched his eyes open and blinked to get his eyes to focus. Lights; Bright blue fairy lights lined the bottom of long mirrors. Eren was in a massive mirror maze. He could see several reflections of himself, and each and every one stared back at him, with lifeless, grey eyes. His eyes had dark bags underneath them, and he was slouching slightly. The longer he stared at these other versions of him, the more uncomfortable he got. He gulped. Time seemed to slow, and when Eren tried to take a step back the reflection facing him raised an eyebrow as his lips curled up. The smile was too wide and haunting for Eren's liking, and the glassy stare sent a shiver right through to Eren's core. He tried to pull his arms up, but the reflection just stared and kept smiling at him. Eren's breathing sped up, and he turned his head around. He saw himself staring back at him with the same sinister smile scarred on their faces. Eren grunted and his eyebrows scrunched together as he clenched his fists and pulled as hard as he could. Eren stumbled back and heard a chorus of laughter rise up through the air. He frowned and whipped his head around.

"Who's there?" Eren shouted.

The laughter got louder and louder, until Eren couldn't bear it, and had to cover his ears. He winced and walked forwards. He pulled his hands away when the laughter died down, and he stumbled into a mirror. He turned and tried to walk the other way, but it was blocked. He tried again, and again, and again. He turned to the middle and saw multiple reflections of himself laughing at him, but the room was completely silent. He clenched his fists.

"Stop laughing." Eren growled.

Snickering slithered into Eren's ear, and he shook his head violently, as if to get it out of his ear. He balled his hands into fists and walked up to the closest mirror. He lifted his fist back and got ready to punch that mocking smirk off of his smug face.

"Eren."

Eren turned around quickly and saw a familiar figure. It was slim and short. Grey eyes were cast to the ground and a strong jaw was clenched. Eren's mouth fell open slightly, and he stepped towards them. He walked up to the figure, but his hands slapped onto glass, and Eren's eyes darted back and forth in confusion. He thumped the mirror angrily and turned back to see another reflection of the figure.

"You like Jean?"

Green eyes rose up to connect with hard, grey ones in the mirror. Eren shook his head, and then he paused. He bit his lip. He wasn't sure. He didn't know. How could he know? No. He couldn't like that snarky, pig-headed, shit-for-brains Jean if he had been paid to. Or could he? No. What he'd done with Jean was a one-off thing. It was stupid. It was disgusting. It was impossible. Or was it? Eren's eyes flicked up to meet with the dark eyes that bored into him. Disinterest played in those eyes, but also something flickered across them. It was too fast for Eren to catch, and so he just looked at Levi, and felt lost.

"Do you?" Another voice chimed in.

Eren turned to see Jean stood with his arms folded. His amber eyes looked Eren over and trapped him. Eren looked back to Levi. Levi didn't give Eren any hint as to what was really going on inside of him. He needed to know. He needed to know why Eren had done… what he'd done. He needed to know what Eren felt, though he felt like he had an idea.

"Jean?" Eren's voice rasped.

"Do you like me, Jaeger?" Jean put his hands in his pockets.

"What's going on? Why am I here?" Eren glanced back to Levi. "Where did you go?" He whispered.

"Answer the question." Jean said.

"What happened to you?" Eren kept looking at Levi.

"Eren!" Levi snapped. "Answer the god damn question!" His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed into a scowl.

"I don't know!" Eren shook his head. "No." Eren frowned and looked at his hands. "No, I can't-"

"What the fuck? But what was that then?" Jean frowned.

"It wasn't anything. It was just…"

"Just what?" Jean growled.

The room got smaller, and trapped Eren in the middle of angry Jeans and cold Levis, who all stared at him. Eren kept looking around at each of them, and tried to look for a way out. He needed to get out. The air was too thick. Everything was being too loud. Eren felt trapped. Eren was trapped. He couldn't get out. He needed to leave. His chest got tight and his heart raced in his chest. He struggled to breath; it felt like he was gasping for air. Eren felt his heart skip a beat as panic rose in his chest. He clutched his chest with his hand as his eyes went wide at the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. Jeans shouting got drowned out by the thumping of Eren's heart in his ears.

"Eren." Levi's voice was so soft that Eren almost missed it. "Just tell me."

"I…" Eren struggled to think of what he wanted to say. It was a struggle to even say 'I'.

"You like Jean don't you?" Levi's eyes searched Eren's. "Don't lie."

Eren stared at Levi and struggled to move. The hint of hurt in Levi's eyes felt like a dagger was twisting into his stomach, slowly, like a corkscrew. His stomach lurched as Levi nodded stiffly and licked his lips.

"Okay." Levi said, simply.

It was quiet. It felt final. Eren shook his head and reached out to Levi. He saw Levi shake his head as he took in a deep breath. Eren desperately wanted Levi to look at him and reach out for his hand. He needed Levi to come closer to him. He needed Levi next to him, and to talk to him. He needed to find a way to get rid of the pain in Levi's eyes as he'd nodded and formed the word 'okay' with his lips.

Levi turned away, and started to walk. All but one of Levi's reflections disappeared, and Eren felt a desperate rush of adrenalin in his veins. He dashed towards the only mirror with Levi in it, and he lifted his fist. He punched the mirror as hard as he could. Shattered shards of the mirror dug into Eren's fist. He punched the mirror again as he winced at the pain in his hand. Bloody smears covered the mirror, and rivulets of blood ran down the mirror. Eren noticed, through the bloody smears, that Levi had turned. Eren took a deep breath and punched the sneering reflection of himself that slid to face him. He saw the cracks form on his face, before the pieces fell with a smash, and Eren stared at a long hallway. Levi stood near the end, but quickly turned and strode towards the wooden door at the end. Eren ran after him, but the door had slammed shut when he reached it. He rattled the doorknob and kicked the door. He took a deep breath and winced at his bloody knuckles. He stepped back, and then threw himself against the door as hard as he could. He stepped back again when it didn't work, and tried again. The door flew open, and Eren fell to the ground. He shook his head, but everything was fuzzy. He looked up to see Levi hovering over him. He reached out for Levi's boot and coughed.

"Levi." Eren gasped.

"You didn't love me." Levi shook his head. "You lied to me."

"What?" Eren tried to get up, but one of Levi's boots rested on his back, and pressed Eren into the ground.

"You lied to me when you said you loved me."

"He's pathetic." Jean's shoes came into view.

"I thought you did." Levi gritted his teeth.

"What do you mean? I did. I do." Eren frowned. "I didn't really realise."

"You knew what you were doing. You told me you did, and then when it came along, and I jumped for you, you got off scot-free." Levi balled his hands into fists.

"What are you talking about?" Eren winced as Levi ground his boot into Eren's back.

"The car." Levi growled.

"What car?" Eren struggled for breath.

"Don't act dumb." Jean crouched down. "You know." Jean grabbed Eren by his hair. "Or maybe your thick skull blocked it out, because you didn't want to have to put up with the guilt." Jean jabbed his fingers into Eren's forehead and wrenched his head back by his hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tears sprang to Eren's eyes at a harsh pull of his hair from Jean, and the cruel crushing of Levi's boot.

"You're too fucking stupid to remember, aren't you?" Jean's face screwed up in disgust.

"Do you know what the worst thing is?" Levi's voice grew soft. "I know I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"But I don't understand." Eren wheezed.

"I'd do it again, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself after that. To not see your bright eyes, and," Levi laughed hollowly, "your dazzling smile… I'd hate it." Levi took his boot off of Eren's back. "I wouldn't see the way your nose scrunches up when you're disgusted, or the way you just light up when you talk about the latest game, or something your favourite character did. And to me, that's worse."

"Worse than what?" Eren struggled to get onto his knees.

"But this is torture too." Levi crouched in front of Eren. "I can't feel you. I can't ever feel the warmth of your skin. I can't ever warm you up when you're cold, or touch you and feel how your hands are rough from a childhood of climbing trees and running around in the open air." Levi's hand gently slid into Eren's hair and moved Jean's away. "But he can."

"Who?"

"Jean."

The name loomed over Levi like a knife on a string. It roused thoughts of Jean's hands running over Eren hungrily, when it should have been Levi's. The way soft gasps Eren had made should have been Levi's. He should have been the one feeling Eren heat up, and watching the way his cheeks blossomed red, like a rose. He should have been the one devouring every one of Eren's moans, and making him gasp as he bit Eren's neck. It should have been grey eyes that met desperate green, not amber. Levi ran his fingers through Eren's hair, but couldn't really feel it. None of it felt real, because it… wasn't. It was all Eren's dream. It was ran by Eren, made for Eren, and ended by Eren. Levi was at his mercy, but he didn't want to be.

"I shouldn't have come back. At all." Levi murmured.

"No. You should." Eren's eyes darted over Levi's blank face.

"I shouldn't have." Levi pulled his hand from Eren's hair and shook his head. "I shouldn't have come in the first place."

"What do you mean? Of course you should have!" Eren felt a pull in his chest. "I needed you. I still do." Eren sat up and leaned forward.

"No." Levi stood up. "I have to leave."

"You don't." Eren shook his head.

"Eren." Levi gritted his teeth. "Don't make this harder."

"What do you mean?" Eren swallowed thickly and frowned. "It's easy for you. You can just appear and reappear whenever you want. But I'm the one that's left behind, feeling idiotic and fucking hurt because you've suddenly gone."

"You're the one that's left behind?" Levi shook his head and huffed a laugh. "You get to move on. You get to go to different places, and to move on. You can be with your friends. I can never see friends, and I can never touch the ones I love again. I'm left in the dark, alone and pathetic, just hoping that maybe one day I'll get to feel you in my arms again. Just hoping," Levi's voice gave out a little, "that I can feel something other than this stupid fucking, useless beating thing in my chest, and the weight on my chest when you leave."

Levi grabbed his chest and looked down in disgust. He pressed his lips into a hard line. Eren looked up at Levi. He grabbed Levi's jeans and rested his forehead against Levi's thigh. He closed his eyes and felt a shaky hand in his hair. He leaned into the hand, and sighed.

"I'm sorry." Eren licked his lip. "I don't know what I've done, but I'm sorry for everything."

"You're an asshole for making me love you." Levi muttered.

"I don't even understand how, but I just feel like," Eren tried to think of how to describe it, "like when you find something in your room after cleaning it, but it was something you only just found, and you're so attached to it, but it's old-"

"Oi."

"And I don't really get how I can feel like this about someone in my head…" Eren bit his lip. "I haven't stopped thinking about you."

"Until you had Jean." Levi's hand stilled.

"But that was… I didn't really…" Eren lifted his head to look at Levi. "That wasn't…" He shook his head. "It wasn't."

"It wasn't what?"

"It didn't, I mean, I didn't feel like it meant anything. It was just, I don't know. It just happened." Eren gripped onto Levi's jeans. "I didn't even want to meet him. Mikasa and Armin wanted me to."

"But you agreed to go out with him to that fair. They didn't make you do that." Levi's voice was like ice.

"I didn't know what to do! You'd disappeared, and I was lost and alone, and-"

"That's not an excuse."

"What was I meant to do? Just go straight home, after Mikasa had dragged me out?"

"You didn't have to stick your tongue down his throat!" Levi pulled away from Eren.

"Levi."

"Don't." Levi shook his head.

"But!" Eren pleaded.

"No!" Levi growled. "No." He took a stuttered breath.

Levi blinked away the tears and tried to ignore the pang in his chest at the destroyed look in Eren's eyes. He shook his head and smoothed his shirt. Eren watched Levi turn away from him, only giving him one last glance as hurt flickered across his eyes, before it was replaced by a harsh, blank expression. Levi's shoes tapped against the ground down another corridor, and Eren looked down at the floor. He closed his eyes briefly and tried to clear his head. When he opened his eyes, he was sat in a pool of blood, and his hands were covered in it. His eyes glanced up to see bloody footsteps leading down where Levi had disappeared. Eren crawled forward, and left bloody handprints all over the wooden floor. He got to his feet and followed Levi's footsteps. He slipped and fell onto his back, and grunted. He stood up and kept walking forwards, where Levi had gone. He turned a corner and saw a dark, wooden door. When he got to the door, he grabbed the silver door handle and pushed it down as he opened the door. He saw a flash of red, and heard a loud screeching in his ears.

Eren's eyes flew open as he woke up. He took in a deep breath and looked around his dark bedroom. He felt disorientated and fumbled for his phone on the table by his bed. He unlocked it and shone the light around his room to check he was there. He closed his eyes and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"What?" Eren mumbled quietly to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Bright red numbers glared at Eren from his alarm clock. Eren winced and rubbed his eyes. He felt something shift beside him, and he looked over to see a mop of two toned brown and blond hair. A mumble slipped from Jean's lips, and he rolled over to face Eren. Somehow, Jean had wrapped the duvet around his legs, and he had slithered his arm around Eren's back, and clung onto Eren with two fingers inside the band of Eren's shorts. Jean's other hand rested on his hip, which was exposed as his boxers hung low. Delicate dark eyelashes rested against Jean's cheek, and his lips were slightly parted as soft breaths puffed out and made Eren shiver as it hit his side. Eren felt something akin to guilt in his chest as he looked at the other sleeping peacefully beside him. He took a deep breath and tried to push the feeling away, as he put his hand on top of Jean's head. Cautious fingers played with Jean's hair, and Eren slumped and stopped thinking. His focus was on the feel of the soft hair running through his fingers, and the way Jean's nose twitched as stray strands of hair fell into his face.

A loud beeping startled Eren. His head whipped around to find the source of the noise, and his eyes eventually landed on the blinking blue light on his bedside table. He picked up his phone and noticed a bunch of messages from Mikasa. Lithe fingers scrolled through them all, and Eren rolled his eyes at some of the worrying tones. He tapped out a reply to tell her he was fine and, no he hadn't killed Jean, and no, he wasn't laying in a ditch somewhere.

"Jesus." A voice murmured as a chin rested on Eren's shoulder.

"Fuck." Eren jumped and looked at the smirking amber eyes. "What the fuck, Jean? Don't creep up on me like that."

"She's kinda protective isn't she?" Jean looked down at Eren's messages.

"You already know that." Eren mumbled.

"Mm." Jean took in a deep breath.

Jean sat up and yawned. He stretched and groaned as his back cracked, and Eren shot him a disproving glare. Jean stuck out his tongue and cracked his knuckles, and grinned at the grimace on Eren's face.

Eren shook his head and jumped out of bed. The floor was cold as fuck. Eren shivered and padded his way into his kitchen. He supposed he'd have to make Jean something for breakfast. Eren rifled through his draws and cupboards to get pans and plates out. He grabbed all the stuff he'd need, and set about cooking breakfast. The smell of frying bacon soon wafted through the air, and Jean emerged from Eren's room. Soft footsteps grew closer until Eren felt Jean's hand brush Eren's back. He looked to the side to see Jean making himself a drink, and acting as though this had happened a thousand times before.

"So." Jean leaned against the counter with his glass in his hand.

Eren looked up from the frying pan to Jean. "What?" He glanced back down and flipped the bacon over.

"Last night." Amber eyes looked over the top Jean's glass as he took a sip.

"What about it?" Eren started to plate up the food.

Jean shrugged and put his glass on the counter. "What do you think about it?" He folded his arms and his eyes bored into the side of Eren's face.

Eren paused. What _did_ he think about it? Part of him wanted to instantly exclaim it was stupid and didn't mean anything at all. Something in him wanted to insult Jean, and say he was lousy and slow, but then again, something stopped him. The part of him that loved a man in his dreams told him to reject Jean immediately, and tell him to leave without breakfast, and maybe even without his clothes. But another part of Eren thought that it was okay. There was something in him that told him to let go of Levi, and instead give Jean a proper shot, and to give himself a shot at having someone he could touch and actually feel. There went the little voice again, screaming at him that he was being stupid, and that he _could_ feel Levi, it just wasn't in the sense of temperature, and that what he felt for Levi was real. But how could it be, when Levi was so obviously in his head, but he seemed too real to just be someone his head had conjured up. Jean was right there, in front of him, and Eren could reach out right there and then, and feel fingers between his own, and it not have the fuzzy, dreamlike quality he had with Levi. He hadn't even known Levi all that long, but he had a feeling that he'd known Levi for so much longer, but he couldn't explain why. As Levi's face flashed across Eren's brain, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he felt sick. Teary grey eyes filled Eren's head, and he gulped as he struggled with the knots in his stomach. How could he have done that to Levi? But he's not even real! But he was to Eren. Eren was so confused.

Jean cleared his throat. "Eren?"

Eren's eyes shot up to Jean. "Huh?"

"What did you think about last night?"

"In what sense?" Eren grabbed the pan and his spatula and went to put it in the sink.

A hand wrapped around Eren's wrist. "Was it a mistake?" Jean's face twisted into an expression of unease. "Have I made this all really awkward?"

"Uh. " Eren struggled to string two words together. Was it a mistake? "No…"

Jean sighed in relief. "Ah, okay." He reached a hand up and scratched his neck. "I can't help but feel like I was stupid because I rushed it, and I mean," he gave a nervous laugh, "you kind of were all over me-"

"Hey!" Eren felt nauseous. "I wasn't." He shook his head gently and tugged on the wrist Jean held.

"You were a bit." Jean put his arm by his side.

"No." Eren tried to fight the acid that he could feel rising in his throat as grey eyes flashed in his memory again.

"Hey," Jean frowned, "I was a bit too, but- Are you okay?" He leaned towards Eren and tried to get a look at his face.

Eren ran off to the bathroom and slammed his bathroom door shut. He leaned over the toilet and tried to force the rising feeling of sick in his throat. He screwed his eyes shut and gripped onto the nearby sink as tight as he could. Jean's knuckles rapped against the door, and Eren tried to ignore it. Jean tried again.

"Hey, you okay, Eren?"

Eren groaned in response.

"Eren?" Jean slowly opened the door.

His eyes fell upon Eren's desperate clutch of the sink as his legs shook, and his eyes were clamped shut. Jean's eyebrows furrowed and he walked over to where Eren was hunched over the toilet. Jean soothingly ran his hand over Eren's back and he grabbed some tissue, just in case. Eren's head lifted up and he glanced back to Jean with tears in the corners of his eyes. Jean wiped Eren's face carefully and shivered at the gross tissue. He threw the tissue in the toilet and flushed it. Both Eren and Jean washed their hands, and Jean guided Eren to sit on his bed, as Eren's room was closer. Tender fingers brushed the hair back from Eren's face, and Eren nodded to Jean gratefully.

"Were you actually sick?"

"Almost." Eren mumbled.

"Did you eat something funny?" Jean sat down next to Eren and frowned at him.

"It wasn't that."

"What was it then?"

"Nothing." Eren shook his head.

"It wasn't 'nothing'. Have you been around anyone that's been ill?" At the shake of Eren's head, Jean continued. "Uh, did you swallow something dodgy?"

Eren looked up at Jean and stared. Jean's cheeks flushed and he looked away. "Right. Um." Jean cleared his throat. "Maybe something to eat might help?"

Jean stood up and disappeared through the doorway. Eren chewed his lip. Jean was being really nice to him. Granted, he'd almost thrown up in front of him, but he couldn't help but think that Jean had been less of an asshole over the past few days. Whenever Mikasa or Armin had briefly mentioned him, Eren struggled to make a comment, other than about Jean's face, because he couldn't find anything that suggested Jean was being an asshole. Eren laid down on his back and stared at the blank ceiling. When they'd been at the restaurant, Jean hadn't leapt into being a smarmy shit straight away, like Eren had expected. No, in fact, Eren had continued to be a bit of an ass to Jean even when they were at the fair. But then again, Jean was being an asshole at one point, which lead to… Eren shook his head.

What if Eren gave Jean a go? What if he did as Levi had asked and didn't go back? Would he be able to let Levi go? He couldn't shrug off the feeling that he knew Levi so much better. Levi wouldn't have looked so hurt if they didn't know each other more than… what even were they? They weren't strangers _that_ was for certain in Eren's mind, so what were they? Acquaintances? Friends? Or ghost-dream-friends? Just a figment of Eren's brain that he had a crush on? Eren wasn't too sure. Surely it wouldn't be too bad if Eren tried to uncurl his grip on Levi, and replaced it with Jean? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, to be with Jean. Maybe it wouldn't be so strange to find himself with Jean on the settee curled up with Jean, as some cheesy film played. Would a possible relationship with Jean be such a stupid idea? Again, something screamed _'yes, yes, of course it would be stupid!'_ but he wasn't so sure.

"Earth to Eren." Jean waved his hand in front of Eren and nodded to the plate in his hand.

"Oh, thanks." Eren grabbed the plate and dug in.

Jean sat beside Eren and watched him carefully. Something definitely wasn't right with Eren. Mikasa had mentioned to him that Eren had turned up to school with dark bags under his eyes, and his hair had been a mess. She said he hadn't been sleeping, and he was a lot quieter than usual, and it was starting to freak her out. As he'd watched her brown eyes tear up and she tried to compose herself, Jean knew that Eren needed something to happen to get him out of the cycle he was clearly stuck in. Jean had nodded his head, and told her he would try to help, because as much as the bastard got on his nerves, he did like Eren. As hard as it was to believe, Jean found the way that Eren's fists clenched and he glared at Jean to be endearing, because there was always a hint of joy in Eren's eyes when they teased each other, or fought about something. Jean liked the playful tone when Eren snapped back at him, and the smirk that would play at the corner of his lips when he thought of a particularly good comeback. Eren had always been an asshole, and he probably always would be, to an extent. His fighting style left elegance to be desired, but he was one hell of a scrapper, Jean couldn't deny that. He also couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed when Eren got excited about something, even if it was an insult about him, because Eren's eyes would light up, and the sparkle in his eyes left Jean breathless.

Soon Eren had finished his food, and he took a deep breath. He glanced over to see a thoughtful look in Jean's eyes. He stayed quiet and studied Jean's face. His eyes were slightly glazed over in thought as his lips twitched with a small smile. Jean's hand twitched against the bed. Eren watched as Jean blinked and he huffed a laugh through his nose. It sounded to Eren to be of the equestrian variety. Eren snorted, and Jean blinked. Jean raised his eyebrow suspiciously and looked Eren over.

"What's so funny?" Jean leaned back on his hands.

"Your face." Eren smirked.

"Yeah? Well, at least I don't have huge-ass eyebrows on my face." Jean shot back.

"Better than having my face resemble a fucking horse." Eren stood up and put his plate in the sink.

"I do not!" Jean shouted.

"Do too!"

They kept bickering back and forth until Eren stormed back into his bedroom and pushed Jean onto his back with a disgruntled frown. He pinned Jean down, which made Jean raise an eyebrow and cheekily grab the back of Eren's neck as he kissed Eren's cheek. Eren pulled back and looked at Jean with wide eyes. Jean tilted his head questioningly.

"What?" Jean whispered.

"You kissed my cheek."

"Eren, I don't know if you remember or not, but you were practically snogging my face off last night." Jean raised an eyebrow as his other furrowed, and tossed Eren a look of disbelief.

"Yeah, but that was…"

"Was what?"

"It wasn't exactly soft."

"Well of course, I'm always-" Jean caught himself, "What do you mean?"

"It's not meant to be sweet, like," Eren held his breath as he tried to think of words, "like cheek kisses and, stuff!"

Jean's face fell. "Oh." Jean quickly shook his head. "I wasn't being sweet, I was taking the piss. Can't you tell the difference?"

"You weren't taking the piss, because if you were you'd have, I don't know, blown a raspberry on my cheek or pushed me away!"

"No, you're just too dumb to recognise the difference!" Jean puffed up his cheeks.

"Am not!" Eren puffed up his cheeks too. There was the asshole Jean he knew.

"You're confusing the fuck out of me, Eren! I don't- One minute you're acting as though being all," Jean waved his hands around, "soft is fine, and then the next you're saying it's wrong!" Jean covered his mouth quickly and turned away when his brain caught up with his mouth.

Eren paused. "I'm not the one being confusing, you are. What do you mean I acted like 'being soft is fine'? I never said it was okay. In fact, I never explicitly said any of this was okay. You're just making assumptions!"

"You're not being fair, Eren." Jean frowned. "You _know_ that you were. Fine, if it wasn't okay, why did you never push me away? Why did you pull me back and keep going?"

"I don't know!" Eren cried out in frustration as his hands flew to grab his own hair. "I don't know anymore! Everything's so weird, and I feel sick and guilty when I think about you because of Levi!" Eren regretted mentioning Levi, but he'd already said it, so he may as well continue. "He's fucking around with me, and he keeps pushing me away and then appearing again! I feel like I'm losing my mind. No one makes any sense anymore, and the only thing that does keeps leaving. And then you come along, and then you make it even harder! Levi left me alone, because of you. Because I… because we…"

They both looked at each other in silence. Jean's ears hadn't missed the name. He knew the name well. He felt dread weigh him down, and he had a feeling he knew what was up. Eren shifted away. Jean probably thought he was insane or stupid, and he was probably going to ring for tall men in white coats to come and take him away. They'd probably throw him in a cell and force him into a straightjacket and insist that he was a danger to society. He'd be left in a bright room with blinding lights and forced to tell tall shadows everything that he'd ever thought and experienced. A hand hovered over Eren's shoulder, and his eyes flicked up to the hand in question. He glanced up to meet Jean's eyes, and spotted the hint of worry there. Eren swallowed thickly.

"I'm not mad." Eren shook his head. "I'm not insane."

"Eren, calm down." Jean spoke softly.

"I'm not!" Eren slapped his hand onto Jean's shoulder hard. "I swear!"

"Eren."

"Jean, don't put me away!"

"Eren!" Jean grabbed Eren's face to get him to look at Jean. Jean shook his head. "Calm down. You're not being put away anywhere."

"Don't tell Mikasa." Eren's lip quivered. "Please."

"Why don't you want her to know?"

"She'll think I'm mental."

Jean sighed. "I can't promise that, you know."

"Please." Eren held Jean's eyes. "She shouldn't have to worry about me like that."

Jean chewed his lip. He shrugged and let go of Eren. Eren stepped back from Jean and thumped onto his bed. He sat down and put his head in his hands. Jean sat next to him and glanced at him from time to time. They sat like that for a little while, and just let the ticking of Jean's watch be the only sound. Eren kept jiggling his leg up and down as his mind raced over what Jean could be thinking of him. He knew that he was acting a bit unfairly, but everyone was being unfair too. Why did Levi keep telling him to leave, but then why did he come straight back? If he truly didn't want Eren, he'd not have come back, right? Why did it matter what he did with Jean? Levi wasn't real, anyway, right? It didn't matter if some dream got annoyed with him because he tried to make something happen in reality. Did it matter if he wasn't sure if he actually liked Jean like that? But then he'd be stringing Jean along, and that would be wrong. His gut twisted at the thought of it. He didn't want to lead anyone on, or upset anyone, but what could he do? He could forget Levi ever existed, and also cut things off with Jean, and be alone. He didn't like that idea.

"Eren."

"Yeah?" Eren mumbled.

"Do you remember Levi?"

"What do you mean do I remember Levi? 'Course I do, he's been the dude in my nightmares lately."

Jean licked his lips. "No but, do you remember _Levi_?"

"I don't get what you mean? It's the guy in my nightmares."

"Okay." Jean nodded with uncertainty and sighed.

"What? What's with that reaction?" Eren frowned.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to about that."

"What do you mean?" Eren leaned in to Jean.

"No. Just- I'm not the one you should be talking to about that stuff. I don't want to say something that's wrong." Jean shook his head.

"Jean, just tell me."

"No." Jean stood up. "Maybe I should leave."

"Don't. Tell me, please." Eren got up and followed Jean to his front door.

"Eren, I can't." Jean shook his head and zipped up his jacket. "I uh, I'll just go."

Eren's eyes glared at Jean as he awkwardly almost went for a kiss, and then tried a hug, but decided it'd be better if he just said goodbye and left. Jean took a deep breath, muttered 'bye, Eren', and got a snappy 'bye' in return. The door closed with a soft thud behind Jean, and Eren thumped his head against the door. He raised his fist and slammed it against the closed door, and growled in frustration. Why didn't Jean just tell him? What could he have said wrong? Eren wasn't sure if he was angry that Jean had gone without telling him what he'd meant, or if he was just frustrated from everything that kept buzzing in his head like a swarm of angry bees. He pulled away from the door and gritted his teeth. He needed a distraction. He needed to get out. He needed to hit something.

"Jean." Eren snarled.

He stomped into his room and rifled through the clothes on the floor for his keys. After shoving them roughly in his pockets, Eren shucked on his jacket and tore out of his apartment. The cold wind whipped against his face. The sky had gone from bright midday sunlight, to a murky afternoon, and the overhead clouds suggested rain, but Eren didn't take any notice, as he strode along the path with anger resonating from every step. Earphones made their way into Eren's ears, and he put his music on full blast, to block out every thought and possible noise he might hear. He walked aimlessly for hours, and tried to forget about everything.

As the sky started to get darker, the clouds finally started to let loose. Rain poured endlessly and heavily from the sky, and drenched Eren. Eren wiped the rain from his face and turned down the street and found himself in an alley. The buildings around him were tall, and the walls had spots of brightly coloured graffiti on them. The music in Eren's ears suddenly stopped, and Eren pulled out his phone and saw the fading logo of his phone-brand on the screen. He swore at his phone and then ripped out the earphones. His earphones were shoved into one pocket, and his phone was rammed into the other. Eren looked around properly and took note of the quiet shuffling from the other end of the alley. He'd stopped walking as he sorted out his phone. Somewhere nearby a cat screeched and pelted away between some bins, making a loud crashing sound as the bins toppled to the floor. Eren turned his head in the direction of the sound. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, but he shook off the eerie feeling that crept down his spine.

Voices from further down the alley drifted up to Eren's ears, and he couldn't deny the anxious tensing of his muscles at the sound. He was being stupid, he shook his head and walked forwards. His footsteps were quiet and timid, so he tried to make them sound a bit more certain, and put his foot down more confidently, but inside, his heart thumped in his chest. It was getting pretty dark, and he didn't trust the people at the end of the alley not to jump him.

As Eren neared the end of the alley, figures clad in black hoodies with the hoods up and jeans came into view. They were stood around, talking loudly, laughing obnoxiously, and kicking a bottle between them. When Eren got close, they looked up. He felt his stomach sink. Everything was screaming to turn around and go home the way he came, but his stubborn need to prove himself refused. He kept walking, but he slowed when he heard one of them shout to him.

"Is that Jaeger?"

"I think it's Jaeger."

"Fucking fag."

The group strode up to Eren and stopped just in front of him, cutting him off from the way ahead. He glanced around them and then back at the dangerous eyes staring daggers at him. Eren's hand started to shake a little, and his fist clenched unconsciously.

"Oi, Jaeger. We heard you last night." The tallest figure sneered. The others laughed.

"Yeah. 'Oh, Jean! Jean! Fuck, Jean!' Fucking gross." Another mocked.

"What?" Eren frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, he suddenly doesn't know what we're talking about." The group laughed again, loud and terrifying, and stood, leering at Eren like starving hyenas eyeing their prey. "Maybe we should knock some sense into him, to show we don't appreciate fags in our country."

"What?" Eren stepped back as the group circled him and trapped him.

"Go on, L, get him." The tallest figure murmured.

One of the figures sprang forward and smashed their fist into Eren's jaw. Eren stumbled back, but didn't get the chance to recover as another person grabbed him from behind and pulled his hair sharply, and sent pain coursing through his head. Everyone had closed in on Eren. He got punched in his side, and someone kicked his legs from under him. Eren fell to his knees and felt tears well in his eyes as grunts of pain got caught in his throat. The wind was knocked out of him as someone kicked him in the stomach. The tallest one of the group leaned over him and delivered a swift kick to Eren's head, and Eren fell back into waiting hands. He was shoved forward onto his face, and the group all crowded around him. He wasn't even given a chance. They each swung their feet at Eren, and he laid on the floor and jerked away from the hits. Blood dribbled out of his mouth from his split lip, and his head throbbed. Kick after kick sent Eren whimpering. One of the shorter, slimmer people in the group had snatched Eren's glasses from him and thrown them to the floor. A black leather boot had raised up, before it came crashing down and obliterated Eren's glasses. He coughed as another punch went into his gut, and he thought of the cost of getting new glasses. He struggled and coughed again, and when his vision cleared a little, he saw crimson blood splattered over the floor. He groaned.

After a while, the group backed off. The leader leaned over and spat on Eren's curled up form, and grinned as he muttered about 'teaching him a lesson he won't forget'. Eren laid in his own blood, and a small puddle from the rain, and whimpered. When he was sure the group was far away, he very slowly sat up. He cradled his jaw and struggled to fight off the tears that were pouring down his face. His hand slapped down into the puddle to disturb the horrid reflection that stared back at him. It had shown puffy cheeks and smeared blood all over his face. His nose had been bleeding at one point, and there was a drying trail of blood leading to his mouth. Eren got to his shaky feet, and gritted his teeth against the searing pain all over his body.

He stumbled his way home. It was well past midnight when he got back. He fumbled with the lock, and eventually got inside. When he closed the door, he didn't bother to take off his jacket or shoes, he just slid to the floor against the door. It stung his face to cry, but he couldn't help it. The pain thrumming through him was excruciating, and all because someone thought they heard…

"So stupid." Eren berated himself through battered lips. He winced.

Again, Eren struggled to his feet and fumbled to the kitchen sink. He stumbled a few times, and his arm flung out as he began to fall. A nearby small DVD stand crashed to the ground, and sent DVDs flying all over the floor. Eren shook his head and leaned over the kitchen sink. He grabbed the nearest tea towel, and tried to clean his face a bit. He was exhausted. He struggled to do much more, and instead ran it under the cold tap. The tea towel pressed against his face and he made it to his room. With a soft thump, Eren fell onto his bed and closed his eyes. It took a while to ignore the pain, but he eventually fell asleep, and was whisked away from feeling the aching of his bones for a little while.


End file.
